


The Wrong Place

by Kyzaiah



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fusion, Crossover, F/F, F/M, Light Angst, Not Beta Read, Post-Episode: s05e22 The Gift, Romance, Soulmates, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2020-10-18 22:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 39,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20646779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyzaiah/pseuds/Kyzaiah
Summary: Everything was over. She was finally over. Her family and friends would be okay now. 'Everything is fine.'Buffy ends up in the Good Place after her jump off Glory's Tower. Michael *thinks* he's ready for the vampire slayer. If only he knew how wrong he is.***Unfinished and it might stay that way. I'm unhappy with the way a lot of the story has come out. Plot is outlined but I think a lot of this needs a serious rewrite. Honestly if anyone wants to take over the idea I'll send you my notes and even offer to beta.***





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't sleep the other night and this happened. i thought it was kind of enjoyable so here it is.
> 
> You should know I don't normally write romances. Could be rocky.

Buffy was finished. She had done everything, given everything. It would have to be enough. Her sister would live, the world would survive and she would finally be done. Done fighting, done trying. Done winning and failing and being in pain, emotional as much as physical. Her life was the only thing she had left to give. With it she would finally be free.

It only took a moment. She felt the energy of the hell portal short circuit her nerves and then she couldn't feel anything anymore. She wasn't exactly dead. Not yet. As she fell out the other side of the portal she saw the ground grow closer. She remembered thinking how odd it was that something so normal would be her end. Not closing the portal itself but the jump. There was no pain at her impact. She hit the pavement which marked the end of her several story fall and felt nothing. Her every nerve had been damaged irreparably by the unnatural shock. It was a small blessing. With that everything was over. She was finally over. Her family and friends would be okay now, safe.

She was overtaken by the feeling that the people she knew and loved were alright. She had never felt so calm. It felt like she was waking from a dream. The warm comfortable feeling of having slept until the perfect point in her sleep cycle. She opened her eyes gently.

'Welcome! Everything is fine.'

She glanced from side to side. In her line of work nothing was ever fine. Someone saying so was a total jinx. But the place just looked like a waiting room, and it was staying that way. Other than the bright green print on the wall, everything seemed normal, even kind of nice. 

Weird.

"Buffy Summers?" She turned and there was a kind looking white haired man with dark glasses poking out of a roomy looking office.

"We're ready for you now. Come in. Come, come." He herded her in with his hands and she decided there was no harm in going with him. There wasn't anything else to do and he seemed trustworthy enough.

"Well by we I mean me but you understand. Humanity has that way of putting meaning in people's words that doesn't actually fit the meaning of the words."

That was more than a bizarre sentence. "You're a pretty strange guy you know that?" 

That was far from the only strange thing. She felt weird. All her nerves were awake again, and hyperactive in being so. They were tingling like the pins and needles that come when you sit cross-legged for too long.

They sat down at the chairs of his desk and she so didn't expect heaven to start with an office either. "Welcome," He gestured around himself. "to the good place."

"And that would be what exactly?"

"Oh right! Of course. I shouldn't start there, you have no idea what I'm talking about." He shuffled around as if looking for something and straightening his suit at the same time. "Where should I start? Yes!" He looked Buffy in the eye, leaning himself over the desk. 

"This might alarm you, but you, Buffy Summers are dead."

Huh. "Figures."

They sat there for a while while she just took it all in. "I just need to know one thing." She finally said, breaking the silence. "Are my friends okay? Is my  _ sister _ okay?"

"They are just fine. You saved them Buffy. You're a real hero."

The tour of heaven happened after that. Well of 'The Good Place' It was totally heaven to her. For one thing, there were  _ so  _ many places to shop.

"Frozen yogurt!" She shouted and ran forward like an excited five year old. He caught up to her when she stopped outside the doorstep. "Oh man you know just the way into a Southern Cali girl's heart."

They talked for some time. She asked questions, he answered. He showed her the sites and she followed him with wide eyes.

"Soulmates are a real thing? OMG! I am crazy excited to meet my hunk off a man." Then she suddenly stopped walking. It took Michael a couple more steps to realize and he had to turn around to look back at her. She looked dejected. "After all this time." She said quietly. "Does this mean it was never Angel?" Her eyes were large and questioning. Glistening with the threat of tears.

"No." He responded in a matter of fact tone. "Though I must say your star crossed lovers ordeal was a real tear jerker. Had I not known about your true soulmate I would have really been routing for you." 

She looked up at him with a small smile. "Really wasn't that fun from my end." 

"I can't imagine so. You two actually have something of a fan club up here." He turned his body to the side and lifted one hand to his mouth with the other in his pocket. "What was the power's neutral fellow's name again?" 

Buffy looked at him blankly, not sure what he was talking about until she recalled what she had been considering the worst day of her life for a long time. The night she had to kill Angel. 

"Whistler?"

"Whistler!" Michael snapped his fingers and he pointed at her. She jumped slightly in surprise at his enthusiasm.

"But in answer to your earlier question. No. Your real soulmate was actually a bit of a trick to get here. Luckily Jeremy Berimy was on our side."

She had absolutely no idea who or what that was but she was far too curious about this soulmate of hers to ask about some guy named Jeremy.

They turned the corner and there was... Spike? he was sitting in a garden, one leg crossed over the other and nose in a book. He was dressed, really weirdly, in slacks and a crisp button up that was actually buttoned up, but it was still Spike. Also, were those glasses? Still, even with the weird clothes and without the bleached hair she wouldn't be able to not recognize him. She turned her whole body to glare at Michael.

"He's NOT my soulmate."

"I assure you there are no errors in our system." She was flustered and he could tell. "This, however, is not the man" the stern look from the short blonde made him reconsider his wording. " _ vampire _ you know. This," he gestured to the man who was now standing at attention, having noticed them. "is his human counterpart." 

Thinking of it that way she looked at Spike again, not Spike, pre Spike, pre William the Bloody. He had stood while the two were talking and was looking at them expectantly. Loose brown curls hung over his face and thin wire frame glasses. He held himself in a way that looked uncomfortable it was so proper. Nothing like the aloof way Spike always was. Still, he looked at her like her Spike. So much so. He looked at her in a way that asked for nothing and everything of her at the same time. Like his entire existence was dependent on what she would say next. It was entrancing, she couldn't look away.

"Buffy, if I may cordially introduce you to your soulmate, William Pratt." 

The Spike doppelganger closed the distance between them and reached out for her hand. He surprised her when he didn't go for a shake. Instead he took her limp hand in his and raised it to his mouth. He left a chaste kiss on its back and then looked up into her eyes. "A pleasure." Those eyes were so very blue, she could lose herself staring, and what was she talking about? This was Spike's face! "I have been waiting to meet you for so long. I daresay your beauty alone was worth every lonely moment." 

He was staring at her, looking deep into her for something and all she could do was fidget. "Uh, likewise." That was carp and she knew it but god her knees were being all jelly from the old timey romancing and she couldn't think of anything to say.


	2. Chapter 2

They stood across from each other for a long time in silence, staring into each other's eyes. 

Michael was standing beside them awkwardly. Eventually he was the one to break the quiet. "Sparks are really flying here huh? I guess I'll just leave you two love birds to it. "He lay a hand on her shoulder. "Whenever you are ready we can finish the tour Buffy."

"Yeahuh"

She couldn't stop thinking of Spike. She was so bewildered that she could ever find herself in a situation with him in front of her and not feel the need to punch his nose in. 

She remembered what he'd said once. 'what can I say love. I've always been bad.' He was such a liar. Now that she was with the human he once was she knew that. Spike had been born of a complete dweb and had totally been trying to hide it.

She might laugh at the guy if she hadn't just been told he was her soulmate. The silence was doing nothing for her nerves, which still didn't feel right after her dive through who knows how many hell dimensions. He wasn't saying anything more, he had left the ball solidly in her court. It took her some time to regain her ability to form words.

"So, uh, what are you reading?"

The smile that overtook his face was one she didn't see on Spike unless they were fighting, which meant that lately, it wasn't a lot. Spike really had stopped enjoying life after the chip hadn't he?

"I've had a lot of time you see." Oh shirt, she hadn't been listening to anything he was saying.

"Plenty of time to read." He continued, oblivious to her poor attention. "Every book you could ever want is in the library here. So many that I've actually branched out into later works." 

He blushed, actually blushed, and it was another nail in the proverbial coffin that this wasn't Spike.

"I am afraid I was a slight scandalized by the language of contemporary romantic poetry. Which has led me to re-reading an old favorite." He waved the leather bound book around nervously. Too fast for her to catch the title.

It felt like her first date in Sunnydale all over again. Smile and nod as the guy goes on about poetry, which is something she knew nothing about. Was she doomed to pretend for all eternity? Still there was something undeniably charming about it. He had said _ romantic _ poetry hadn't he?

William knew he was babbling. He couldn't stop himself. When he had first been told he had a soulmate he was ecstatic. Being here with her was another feeling altogether. He no longer cared that he had to wait to meet her. Well, that was a lie, every day had been torture, excruciating torture. He had tried his hardest to fill them with the things he enjoyed. It was all just so empty knowing that she existed beyond reach. Now that she was here he knew that it had been torture worth enduring.

She was a picture. No, she was a masterpiece. He could spend forever writing verse about the way golden hair fell over her shoulders. He supposed he could actually put that theory to the test with the time that lay ahead of them.

Green eyes were gazing at him with an interest he had never seen beyond the eyes of his own mother. It was all worth it just for this.

And it had been a lot.

**Some Time Earlier**

"William Pratt. It is a pleasure to finally meet you."

He found himself in a peculiar and scantily furnished room. Last he remembered he was leaving mother to make an appearance at a social gathering.

"It also is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr…" He had no idea who this gentleman was in front of him. Nor where he was for that matter. This did not look to be where he had originally been headed.

"Simply Michael is fine."

"Right, Michael." He hesitated but decided it was paramount he understood the situation. "Do you suppose you would be able to enlighten me as to our current location?"

The older gentleman proceeded to explain the details of his predicament. The story only seemed to become more ludicrous as it was shared. They were now seated in a room that appeared to be a study but it was designed in a manner unlike he had ever seen. 

"You presume for me to accept, that not only has my time as a mortal on Earth expired, but that everything I have ever been taught of heaven and god is wrong?"

"Not quite everything, but yes I would say that encompasses a large portion of it."

"Well this certainly is a lot to take in. Perhaps there is someone we could ring for tea?"

"Oh what a wonderful idea. You British often discuss matters over tea. That would make this all the more comfortable for you wouldn't it."

William was taken aback. He had assumed this man to be British as well. Perhaps he was of the Americas. Was just about to ask as much when the man shouted.

"Janet!"

What was more surprising than the man's uncivilized call for the help was when said help suddenly blinked into existence beside him. 

He was standing, completely flabbergasted, by the time she spoke. "Yes Michael?"

"What trickery is this?"

"Janet if you could please conjure William some tea." Michael gave a cursory glance William's way. "Something calming would be best."

The woman had a tea service in her hands faster than he could blink. She was setting it on the table when Michael gently pushed him back down into the chair he had jumped from.

"I've prepared digestive biscuits with a spearmint tea as I know peppermint gives you a headache."

"That's…"

"Exactly what you needed?" He nodded dumbly at the woman. "Thank you, I try my best to exceed expectations."

"William," Micheal started again. "Janet is here for you. Her job is to help you with anything you need."

"That is really quite spectacular. Is there a personal assistant for everyone?"

"I _ am _ the personal assistant for everyone." She cut in. She seemed so pleased with herself to say so.

He turned to address the woman this time, rather than her employer. "Must be a difficult job. I applaud your work ethic."

"Thank you!" Her smile was possibly larger than possible for a human. "Oh!" Suddenly her eyes were focused on something that clearly was not in front of her. "I have to go." She again looked at the two men. "Another resident forgot to bring toilet paper into the bathroom."

And she disappeared again still smiling.

"I daresay this experience has exhausted my capacity for disbelief." He said feeling numb. He had yet to turn from staring at the point where Janet had just disappeared.

"Wonderful." Michael said with an exuberance William could not bring himself to share. "Would you like a tour now, or should I give you a run down of our facilities before we head out?"

"If it is no imposition, I would like to go out and explore for myself if I may."

"You are welcome to do anything you want. This is _ your _ afterlife after all." He started laughing. "AFTER life, AFTER all. I didn't even mean to do that! Oh man I crack myself up." He made a dramatic motion of wiping tears from his eyes. "Do remember to call Janet if you need help finding your way."

He wandered the town. People were bustling to and fro between buildings of architecture and purpose he had never imagined. Several of the buildings were marked with signs that advertised 'fro-yo.' Simply another forgien concept he had yet to learn. 

When night came he requested that Janet show him where he was to stay. He followed her to his dream home, as she called it. It was quite quaint and homely but he had never thought of any home other than his mother's so he couldn't imagine what made it into the home of his dreams. It did have a lovely garden and beautiful study which he conceeded there was nothing about either he would care to change.

The following morning he followed breakfast with a walk to the neighboring building. He discovered quickly that it was massive library. It would take him decades to learn all it's corridors and longer yet to read everything it contained. Before he knew it he spent a whole week doing nothing but enjoying what the building had to offer.

"William! There you are." The reading he was doing, disrupted by the rambunctious man of before. He had been tucked away in a corner of the romantic poetry section. It occurred to him then how long he had gone without socializing with anyone beyond asking Janet for basic necessities. It wasn't his intention, just an outcome of being so engrossed.

"I really must apologize." Michael looked distraught. His his strangely tailored suit was unbuttoned while standing. An impropriety in itself but more, the shirt underneath had clearly not been pressed as it was wrought with wrinkles.

"What ever for?" He asked while he set down his book, removed his glasses and gestured for the architect to sit in the chair aside him. "Would you like tea? I could ask Janet to bring a second cup and saucer."

"No, I just have very important information I must share with you."

He was terribly curious at what could be so important that Michael be this out of sorts. "By all means go on."

"You see, I neglected to tell you everything in our last meeting. One of the key points of our neighborhood, is that everyone here in the good place has a soulmate."

"Truly? Well then, that is fantastic news. When would I be able to see her?" The romantic in him was singing. A soulmate, true love. He only wished he could have known the woman in life so that his mother be able to meet her.

"That's just it, everyone is _ supposed _to have a soulmate. I was to introduce you today." He scratched at his chin, presumably thinking of how to go on.

"Not everyone here died at the same point in history. Time on earth, and time here doesn't follow the same path. Simply put, our time loops and intersects with Earth's in ways that wouldn't make sense for a human mind. We built this particular town on a point where the two of you would pass over at close enough intersections that we could bring you in with the passage of only a few days here."

Regardless of calling it simple his explanation made no sense. How could physical location change time? "So I have to wait a few more days, that hardly seems an issue for true love."

"Yes, well. It would have been." William watched as the man's light brows furrowed together. "Only she didn't die."

"She didn't die?" How strange things were that he could be upset while saying such. The words would have been a blessing to hear only a short time ago.

"She did die. Enough for us to mark it in the system and prepare for her. The problem is that she didn't _stay_ dead."

"So I simply wait longer, until she does die." It seemed a simple enough answer, and he was feeling brave.

He would wait for her. It all was rather poetic that he wait for an angel in heaven. His heart had seen the highest high in knowing that his perfect match existed. The situation would be excellent fodder for his muse.

"Shall give me some time to concoct a reasonable piece of poetry before her arrival."

"What a trooper!" Michael's face grew into a spectacular smile. "You certainly have spirit. After all, what's a hundred years in the face of love. I like your attitude William." 

Michael slapped him on the back which was highly uncouth and hardly comfortable. "Aa-a hundred years?"

"Well give or take a few. I have faith in you William. If anyone could do it it would be you."

He lost himself. One hundred years was far too long for a man to wait. To have what he always wanted dangled in front of him and snatched away. It was all too much. Michael left without adieu, his mission complete. William took to himself and wandered the library aimlessly. He didn't care to look at the titles or authors. He simply wandered, lost.


	3. Chapter 3

“...Wordsworth’s work of The Prelude is a wonderful epic.” William spoke with passion, not able to stand still. Stepping around the hideaway between buildings she had found him in, he was expressing himself with motion as much as he was words. “The first book’s whimsy does much to awaken the child of my heart. That said, I cannot argue it over The Recluse.” He stopped and closed his eyes, losing himself in the moment.

“I and the modest Partners of my days  
Making a silent company in death;  
Love, knowledge, all my manifold delights,  
All buried with me without monument  
Or profit unto any but ourselves!  
It must not be, if I, divinely taught, 0  
Be privileged to speak as I have felt  
Of what in man is human or divine.”

At realizing what he had just done he paused. His eyes fluttered open but did not seek out company. He was unsure how the lady would take to spontaneous poetic utterings. Cecily had not been one to appreciate such. If she were to reject him for this he would be devistated.

It was with much strength of will he looked back at her. Standing only a few steps away her awe was palpable. “That was beautiful.” it was said quietly, almost to herself. William almost needed reminding to breath. She spoke with more conviction once she continued. “I don’t understand it but it was beautiful.”

Emerald eyes drew him deep compelling him to hold her gaze again. It took only a moment before he felt himself physically pulled to her as if he were caught in a swift current. He could struggle against it with all his might but he would not be able to stop himself from inching ever closer to her.

He withdrew with a strength that must have been blessed upon him as he knew it was not his own. Impishly, he straightened himself and looked to the side. His hands made to adjust the sack coat over his shoulders only to be reminded it was not there. Quickly they were straightening the cuffs of his shirtsleeves instead.

The reminder of his bizarre state of dress did little to help his state of mind. It had been insisted upon that he wear this deep red shirt without a jacket. As he could see and as he had been told, fashion had changed, relaxed. He wasn’t against it per say, it was simply a change he was unaccustomed to.

Thoroughly straightened he raised his head to her again while inhaling steadily. He hoped it might calm the harsh and rapid beat within his chest.

“Would you permit me to take you to supper this evening Buffy?”

She hadn’t left behind the memory of his poetic words. She was still caught up in the way his voice carried smoothly over the air. It wasn’t damaged by smoke as Spikes was. Instead of having a gravelly undercurrent it was lulling and graceful. The way he had stood, head pointed into the sky, the sun had shone over him. It was enough to wrap her in a fantasy where nothing existed other than this secluded side street.

“I'm going to have to eat, might as well enjoy some company while I'm at it.” She smiled sweetly at William, hopeful that she was starting to see him for who he was, rather than who he wasn’t.

An errant thought came to her then. “Do we? Have to eat that is? We both died so I really don’t know.”

His reflected smile only grew. “I do believe it is entirely optional. I have found myself enraptured more than once and never felt hungry despite losing track of the time.”

“Oh, good.” She nodded before creasing her brow and pursing her lips. “I guess.”

William was taken by her every expression. “That being said, I find myself uninterested in altering my diet." He felt his fingers twitch with a need for activity. "I do hope the new information does nothing to change your answer.”

“It doesn’t” Again he was blessed with her smile.

He straightened his form with newfound confidence. “Then it is settled. I will meet you back here at five. I am sure you have preparations you need to attend to.”

“Right. Preparations.” She looked around as if searching for a clutch she had misplaced. “Where would I go for that?”

“Did Micheal not show you to your home? I passed on the tour myself but imagine that would have been one of the more important destinations.” His puzzled expression changed before Buffy could say a word. “I can take care of this.”

Buffy watched as he twisted his body away and raised his voice without letting it grow harsh. “Janet?”

“That would be me.”

When suddenly there was a third person in the alley she moved on slayer instinct. Her feet had already put distance between her and the stranger when her right hand met empty air instead of a trusty waistband stake.

The materialized woman provided an answer without being asked. “You won't need any weapons in the Good place Buffy. Everything here is completely harmless.” She spoke with an airy bounce to her words and an ever present smile.

Buffy looked over at William with an expression that clearly told him to explain himself. He looked confused by the exchange but righted himself quickly to speak. “You have yet to meet Janet as well? What were you doing with Micheal?”

Her eyes flashed away from him and turned downward. “Nothing.”

“Buffy tried thirty seven flavors of frozen yogurt, visited five clothing shops, a makeup parlour and two stores that only sell boots.”

And there it was. “It’s heaven, or the equivalent of anyway. What do you expect from me?” Then faced her whole body towards the new girl. “How did you know all that?”

“I’m Janet, I know everything.”

Buffy switched the focus of her non-believing eyes to William. He responded to the unvoiced question. “It’s true.”

“Okay,” Unable to take things at face value after years of conditioning, Buffy took it as a challenge. Not having a question in mind she said the first to pop in her head. “What color are my socks right now?”

“Blue.” The answer came quicker than Buffy was actually able to remember herself, so she lifted one leg of her pants.

Light blue socks peeked out from underneath her hell god kicking approved shoes.

“That’s too easy. Umm…” She tried to think of something harder to guess. Oh! “Who’s the first boy I ever went on a date with?”

Janet wasted no time in answering. “For your third birthday your parents took you and one friend to a live performance of Sesame Street’s ‘Save Our Street.’ The boy you wanted to go with you was Daniel Santos from preschool.”

“Okaaaay.” She did have vague memories of seeing Big Bird on stage when she was little. “I don’t think that actually counts but let's just say I believe you.”

“Sure! I believe you.”

“Oh Janet I don’t think she actually meant for you to say that.”

“Oops.” She didn’t look flustered at the mistake in the least.

Earlier embarrassment forgotten Buffy leaned in towards Janet. “Do you know if those black boots with the red trim are still at BootHüt?”

“They not only are but would look amazing paired with the shirt you tried on. The one that had the lace neckline.” Janet gestured over the bodice on her own dress.

“Oh my god you’re so right.”

“Would you like me to have them sent to your home?”

That’s when William jumped into the conversation again. “That’s actually why I called you. Buffy hasn’t seen her Good Place home yet. Could you show her the way?”

“Certainly!”

As they started walking away Buffy whispered to Janet. “Please send the clothes too.”

Janet smiled. “Already done.”

Buffy admired the buildings as they walked. The center of town had been colorful and quaint but slightly over the top. Where they were now had a much calmer color scheme. They hadn't travelled very far when Janet stopped outside one of the buildings. white stone covered the lower half of the building except where dark trimmed windows poked out from behind. The sidewalk continued to steps which lead to the deep drown door. A narrow, full length window ran down the side of it. She barely noticed Janet's words as they stepped closer to the entryway. "Welcome home."

Whatever she expected to see when she opened the door this was not it. The very first room of this place was, in simple terms, a gym. It reminded her much more of the back room of the magic box than the one she burnt down at Hemry but it was no doubt designed to be multipurpose. There was gymnastics equipment foam mats and quarterstaves. There was even a section that looked like it was made for target practice, complete with throwing knives.

"What happened to you nothing here is harmful?"

"The weapons you have here are designed only to work on location. Should you try to take any out of this room they will disappear with a whispered poof." She walked over to the wall where several were displayed and gestured for Buffy to join her. "See for yourself."

Curious Buffy agreed and took one of the throwing knives. It was heavier than it looked but far from too heavy for someone of her strength. She gave one last look to Janet before walking back to the front door and stepping outside.

"Poof"

The weight that had balanced between her fingers was gone in an instant. Replaced by the simple sound of someone literally whispering the word poof. When Buffy stepped back inside Janet was standing in the same place. Beside her was the knife Buffy had just experimented with bringing outside.

"Would you like to see your room and closets now?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know these updates are tiny and they are probably going to stay that way. I really want to keep writing Broken Pieces but it is crazy depressing a lot of the time so this is what I write when I can't write that. 
> 
> More Good Place characters are coming soon so get excited!

When William stepped into his house he made for the study immediately. He withdrew pen and paper from his desk, on which he quickly composed a letter. Correspondence had many forms here but he found it hard to break old habits. Knowing the letter would reach its intended within seconds he kept the message brief.

_ I find that I am in need of your services again this evening. Please arrive post haste. _

_ Sincerely, William _

Finished, he folded the parchment in thirds, sealed it within an envelope and slipped it through the mail slot in his door.

**Two Days Ago**

He had developed a simple pattern over the century. Wake with the sun and place the kettle on the stove. Sit out in the garden to read until the steam built enough to whistle. Then he would return inside to make tea and porridge. After completing breakfast, he would package a small lunch and move to the library. Michael, years ago, gifted him a contraption he called a 'thermos'. Using the clever device he could keep the morning's beverage hot for tea time within the library. In the evenings he would retire to his comfortable study, eat food prepared in town, and attempt to write something worthy of his beloved to be.

He very rarely actually ventured into town. People here were so unlike what he was used to. As a simple solution he avoided them, minimized interactions, denied invitations to functions and other social gatherings. He had never been very good with parties anyway. It had most everything to do with people not caring for his company. 

He was a radical thinker. There were in fact a few who had called him a rebel. He believed education should be a right rather than a privilege. Argued that children of any background should be gifted a secular education rather than toiling in factories. England was behind the times. Most civilized countries had moved to a centralized education system already. He was far from the only to think this way but it was not a popular opinion among those of his social class. As a result it often left him an outcast.

His death was terribly similarly to his life, only much more lonely. He missed spending time with his mother. With her declining health he mostly set aside the advocacy works and catered to her whims. He humored the occasional soiree at his mother's behest. Near the end there were a handful he attended of his own volition. Hopes of catching the heart of the fair Cecily Williams did tempt him outside his comforts. His mother had this silly notion that he be married with children of his own before she passed. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect his time to come before hers. 

A knock on his door drew him from the melancholic thoughts on an otherwise unremarkable morning. He didn't take in visitors. This would be the first time since arriving that anyone appear on his doorstep. He swiftly checked that he was presentable and stood to greet the unprecedented company.

He pulled the door open. "Hello, to what do I owe the plea...?"

A short woman with lapis lazuli hair bounded into his home the moment the door was open enough to do so. "You're William Pratt right?" She circled him inspecting his form with deep brown eyes far more closely than he would like. He noticed that her accent was clearly that of a Yankee's in spite of an appearance he had right away labeled as oriental. 

"Yes, that would be me. What pray tell are you doing?"

She stopped in front of him and stuck out her right hand. It was laden with rings. "Samantha Isa."

Modern etiquette, as he read of Emily Post’s revised work, dictated that he could shake a woman's hand as long as she proffer it. So, he accepted her hand in his own and found it quite aggressively clasped and shaken in return.

"We have a lot of work to do to get you ready for your big day." She continued as if he knew exactly what she was going on about. "As you know, first impressions are everything. You really should learn to give more assertive handshakes Will."

He was beyond confused. "What in God's name are you talking about?"

"Your date of course!” her hands popped up parallel to her face in a dramatic expression of exasperation. “It's only the talk of the town. William the librarian is finally meeting his soulmate."

"Has it been so long already?" He couldn't believe it. She's here at long last. Without recognizing having moved he found himself dropping into the sitting room armchair closest to the door. "Oh heavens, I never managed to perfect a poem for her." It certainly would not do. He swore internally to dedicate the rest of his time to it. He started scrounging around for paper. "Wait." Having stopped, he took in what she said in it's entirely. "Since when am I a librarian?"

"Jeez you can't spend that long secluded in a library and wool suits without getting a nickname or two."

He made to retort but she spoke too fast for him. "And that is exactly why I'm here. No way Jose are you going to sweep this woman off her feet with your outdated style."

"Is there something amiss with my manner of dress?"

"Are you kidding? Listen, take this as an act of charity. If I didn't agree to do this Tahani would have and there would be far worse commentary coming out of her painted lips than mine."

As she spoke he was manhandled by the woman. She pulled off his jacket and lifted his arms in strange positions making mental notes.

"Now shirt up and let me do my job. I only have 48 hours to work my magic on you so don't argue with me."

**Present Day**

When the knock came on his door he ran for it. Behind it was the same woman he had met only days before. Her blue hair was pulled back off her face and complemented by beads of the same color draping halfway down her black and white polka dotted sundress.

“Finally admit you needed my help huh?” She pointed a small screen his direction. On it he could see the letter he wrote her just moments before.

-_-_-

The best thing about this place had to be the shower. Instead of having a shower-head, water came down direct from the ceiling soft as rain. Bathing had rocketed to the top of her list of things to try in heaven as soon as she had seen the bathroom. Hot water had fogged up the glass door too much to see outside but she could remember it. It was nicer than any bathroom she had ever seen, let alone used.

She quickly forgot about the way her nerves had continuously been misfiring since she arrived. Under the relaxing flow of the water she felt good as new. Nothing like a shower to fix the Slayer up after a difficult battle. That much wouldn't change about her with something as trivial as dying. She should know after all. There probably wasn't anyone else here that had died more than once.

After a long rinse she wrapped herself in one of the plush towels and stepped out into her room. Water dripped from her hair onto the soft carpet under her feet. On the other side of the room was a massive walk-in closet that she had no idea the content of. The clothes she wore to fight Glory were in a pile on the bathroom floor, while the boots and shirt she picked out earlier were packaged at the foot of the bed.

She knew next to nothing about this place or places to eat here let alone places to take a date. Was this a 'let's have coffee sometime' kind of thing or a five star dining sort of event? maybe he didn't even mean it as a date. Was she reading in to this? Probably not, Micheal had said they were supposed to be soulmates.

She thought back to the way he was dressed. It looked like things Spike might keep in his closet. In fact that button up looked suspiciously like the one that used to poke out from under his duster back when she seriously thought the vamp was danger. Wow, things really had changed. Hard to believe she could have ever seen him as a threat. 

Well, thought train over, William seemed to dress the look up. Maybe it was the way he held himself. He didn't look more confident, in fact, it was almost the opposite. He looked less cocky and more refined.

Something on the fancy side then. 

The irony was not lost on her that she be going on a fancy date with a person who shared the same visage as Spike. Minus the electro blonde look anyway. She was laughing at herself as she used one hand to shop through dresses and the other to hold up her towel.

It hadn't been that long ago that Spike thought a stake out and warehouse of fledglings was her idea of a good time. Well he wasn't terribly far off. She did enjoy a good staking but he just took all the fun out of patrol. Stealing her kills, taking her on wild vamp/demon chases, talking, just being there. Wow, she really didn't like anything the guy did. It was still throwing her for a loop that the Spike doppelganger was her soulmate. Maybe that was why Spike believed so intensely that he loved her. Some residual left of the man who came before. It was the best theory she had come up with yet. Not that it mattered, Spike was back on earth with Dawn and the others.

Her fingers graced over a fabric and sparked with static. She had the hand back against her chest in a flash. "Ow, what the heck was that?" Cautiously she reached back to the hanging dress. There was no shock this time, just the feel of soft satin. Actually it was crazy soft. Buffy pulled the whole garment out and took a look.

This was it. This was definitely the one she was going to wear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! ! Season Two and Three Good Place Spoiler Warning ! !
> 
> Yes, Samantha IS one of the demons. Remember Jessica played by Amy Okuda? Well I'm giving her a bigger acting role in this reboot.  
If you didn't catch on before, William having to wait 100 years for Buffy would put us a little less than halfway through that horrid time in Micheal's career where he just couldn't make things work. BUT before he hits total rock bottom and Vicky unionizes the demons. (They say at some point in season three that its been about 300 years that the soul squad has been there)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda veered off the plan with this chapter. I think it came out good though so I hope you enjoy.

He arrived almost an hour early practically hyperventilating. He was in a state of near panic. Samantha had not only chosen his attire but schooled him in hundreds of ways courting a woman had changed between their times. Starting with not even calling it courting anymore.

"You use that word Will and she'll laugh you right out of the room."

He tried to recount all the other things to remember.

"First date is simple, lots of talking and getting to know each other." He remembered the way she schooled him while matching fabrics to his complexion. "Don't overshare. In fact, don't volunteer anything about yourself. Let her ask you questions. Girls like more independence than they used to."

That might end up being a problem point for him. His nervousness usually presented itself in an inability to keep quiet. Or still he mentally added, noting how he was currently pacing from wall to wall in the alley garden. His tutor's voice continued on in his mind.

"Keep the poetics under wraps until at least date two. You might scare her off with your wordy declarations." He had been startled by her knowledge of his drabbling and made as such clear to the woman. "So I did some snooping while you changed." She admitted unabashed. "Sue me."

More conversations from the last couple hours filled his head. Just how was one supposed to remember all these secret rules and guidelines?

Buffy cautiously turned the corner into the sitting area between buildings where she had been introduced to William. Her muscles were tight with apprehension. The last time she had been on a date was long before her mother died. With Glory and mom and taking care of Dawn she had no time left for Riley. Then before she knew it he was gone. Gone like every other man in her life. Well, Giles and Xander had stuck around in the end but had they really been there for her? Xander had encouraged her to put her heart on the line only to be broken. And Giles, Giles had wanted to let Dawn die. She wasn't sure she could ever forgive him for that.

At the sight of Spike before her, her mouth grew dry.  _ William.  _ William is here, not Spike. She absorbed his figure in its entirety. He was wearing a suit but it was simple. There was no vest or tie nor was there any pinstripe or pattern. The jacket and pants matched seamlessly all the way down to his shoes in a solid deep burgundy. Beneath the jacket, which was clasped together by the top button and left undone on the lower, was a fitted and sleek black shirt. The way it was put together accented the perfect angle from his shoulders to waist. She hadn’t let herself appreciate the adonis proportions in a mortal enemy. Now she had the perfect opportunity to enjoy. Not only was it not a problem to think of him as a man, it was downright encouraged. If she deserved anything she deserved to have warm tingly feelings when looking at her soulmate. It just wasn’t fair that she had to be continually reminded of the pain in her ash back on earth.

When he noticed her his face froze. The only thing that looked alive were his eyes. They drank in her presence with everything he had. Gradually he melted from whatever he was expressing before into awe. His eyebrows which had been slightly furrowed relaxed. His lips which had been pursed, slowly parted as his jaw grew slack. So ensnared was she in his eyes, that she didn’t register the way his head tilted gently to the side. It was a perfect example of the mannerisms shared by his vampire twin. Perhaps if she had noticed it she wouldn’t have mirrored the action as she did.

Eventually she smiled and spoke. "You clean up really nice."  _ Understatement of the year. _

"Clean?" He blinked away his gobsmacked expression. 

"I was clean previously." It was clear to her in his demeanor the moment he realized that he had misunderstood. His eyes dropped down and disappointment in himself tightened the lines of his face. It was an expression she had seen much of with Spike but never did it pull on her heartstrings the way it did now. 

"That was a comment about my state of dress wasn't it? My apologies." Almost as quickly as she would watch Spike do, he put up a brave facade burying the expression of weakness . 

"It is quite hard to think of anything but verse with a lady of such grace in front of me." Quickly he thought back to the advice he was given and turned the conversation away from his hobby. “I must be making a fool of myself, staring for so long. My apologies again. I seem to have found myself in a fluster.” He tilted his head down so that he would look up at her to say his next words. “I do hope your comment on my appearance means it passes muster.”

“It looks good."  _ Almost too good. _ She gulped unintentionally. It was much harder to see him and only him than she had originally hoped. All it would take is one unfortunate dye job and she might not be able to tell the two apart. Bizarrely it wasn’t turning her off the way she expected it would. Punk reject or GQ man of the year she was undeniably attracted to him. She would still vehemently deny recognizing Spike hot if it ever came up. "It's just all a bit strange.”

“I found it quite strange myself at first. I grow more accustomed to it as time passes. With all the changes to fashion I must say I feel underdressed."

She hadn't been talking about the clothes but let the conversation veer that way regardless. “You feel underdressed? You look like you’re going to a wedding. You make  _ me _ feel underdressed.”

He appraised her again. She wore a black dress which sparkled when caught in the light. The fabric was as breathtaking as the Milky Way on a cloudless night. Still it was nowhere near as bright as even dying candlelight against her natural beauty. The dress left so much skin exposed he had been avoiding looking at her directly. Her arms were bare from shoulder to fingertips and a large portion of her lower body was also on display. Her seemingly endless legs were capped off with heels held together by nothing but straps. 

His roaming eyes drew back to her face. It was the most captivating piece of her. Somehow over the course of only a few hours she had built up an exuberance for life, or afterlife, that illuminated her. 

“Nothing you could have worn would have distracted me from your beauty. You look delightful.”

A flush came up to her cheeks with a dramatic intensity. She was flattered of course but she was also terribly embarrassed at the same time. 

_ Wow you would think I've never been complemented before. _

With effort she fashioned herself an aloof but confident mien and shrugged with a light laugh. “You should have seen me in highschool. The short skirts I wore then were for sure distracting.”

"Shorter than this?" His eyes were huge but one eyebrow was raised higher than the other. An image flashed in her mind of the scar that would mar this pretty face between his death and their first meeting.

“I imagine revealing attire must be typical of your time."

Caught by his words her mind returned to the present. She hadn’t actually considered this dress revealing. It was a mid-length layered skirt bottom after all. She was glad she didn’t pick anything with a scoop neck. She might have scared his innocent mind. His Adam's apple bobbed followed by a quick lick of his lips. Was it possible he was more nervous for tonight than she was? His eyes left her figure to look up at the sky.

"Until seeing you tonight I was under the impression that dresses may have gone by the wayside. I do occasionally see simplified versions. Janet for one, wears a garment with a simplistic beauty to it." He brought his attention back to her.

"But you in this moment," He looked not at her body or her dress. He gazed right into her eyes. "Breathtaking."

She was speechless. Apparently he had always been a smooth talker. This however was a huge improvement to the leers and sexual commentary of 'the Bloody' version.

She watched him as the things he said sunk into his psyche. His stature drifted from assured to hesitant in no time at all. “Um” He faltered momentarily as he attempted to speak again. “Shall I, uh, escort you to our reservations?" He turned to face the same direction beside her and offered her the crook of his arm.

"Please." She smiled sweetly and looped her own arms around his. The action was met by a beaming expression that took up his entire face and returned his confidence. Again she felt the telling rush of heat to her cheeks.

"Allow me a quandary as we walk?"

"Ask away." Her mind raced through the kinds of things he might question her about. She was a bit surprised by what crossed his tongue.

"The apparel of ladies today seems to encompass menswear as well as woman’s." He stated it as fact but she felt compelled to answer anyway.

"Uh huh, I guess it looks that way for you as an old timer. Pants are just easier. What was the question?"

"Well," She may have imagined it but she thought a blush rosed his cheeks. "Would this be true in the reverse as well?"

She burst out into laughter. The instant the sentence met her ears she imagined Xander in a gown and couldn't hold it in. Dark whisps of chest hair were poking out from under a pastel prom dress. She sputtered out a ‘no’ while trying to control herself but the more details her imagination added the harder it was not to laugh.

"I suppose that is still a few years out then." He was a little relived that Samantha had no grounds to subject him to something so alien as a frock.

Buffy stumbled over her feet and the two of them stopped in the street. William looked at her. Concern evident in his extremely expressive eyes.

"Wait you were serious about that?"

"Of course. Society is meant to progress. Logically it would evolve through the desires that drive us. Everyone wants to be treated fairly. I believe humankind will one day reach the pinicle of equality."

He looked ahead as they started walking again. This time he let his hand rest over her arm. Almost as if he were concerned she would trip again.

"I hadn't considered the changing concept of clothing" he continued. "but there are likely very many instances of inequality that I have never acknowledged."

Okay… She hadn't really thought about what landed him in the Good Place. This was probably it. It made her feel like a terrible person though.

"I never thought about it that way." Suddenly the picture she had of Xander dressed to the nines was sad. She didn't think it would ever happen but if Xander one day wanted to start wearing dresses who was she to judge? It would probably be heartbreaking if she laughed at him. Her body filled itself with the lead weight of guilt.

"Here we are." She blinked. Her and her date were standing in front of a door with the words Comfort & Food placarded on it in a fancy script. He lowered her arm and pulled open the door. With an eloquent gesture he encouraged her to step inside.

The interior was warm. Not only in temperature but a full body feeling. Stepping inside felt like being enveloped in a hug from her mother. It was safe and gentle and everything right with the world. Only inches between herself and the door she closed her eyes and breathed in deep. It even smelled like home. Not just home, it smelt like home before everything went wrong. It smelt like home when Dawn was young and her parents were happy about their growing family. Before the fighting started, before she was called, before her father started the trend of abandonment that shadowed her through life.

William stepped in beside Buffy and let the door close behind him. He had only been here once before but the impact the second time was no less profound. The place felt like a warm fire in the hearth while he lay at the foot of his mother's chair and read. He could picture it in exhaustive detail. She worked on her embroidery and occasionally spoke to him or ran a soft hand through his curls. It was nothing short of perfect. 

He had known quite quickly that this was where he was going to have his first date with his soulmate. He breathed in the comforting smell of woodfire and looked to his side where she stood. A small intake of breath was his reaction to the tears that streaked down her face. He started reaching to wipe them away but thought the better of it.

"Buffy?"

She sniffled and wiped at her eyes with her palms and arms. "Sorry, I'm sorry." 

"Buffy what is wrong?"

"I'm sorry I just… I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment." She looked so disheveled. She didn't even look at him as she spoke. "I need to go to the bathroom."

William was left standing alone at the door while she ran to the closest employee. He numbly watched the mimed conversation. The busboy pointed down a hallway after which she thanked him and hurried away. He was still staring at the place she disappeared from his sight when the maitre d' came over to escort him to their table. 

What had just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this was going to be fluffly. Apparently I can't write fluff.


	6. Chapter 6

She gripped the sides of the cold porcelain sink and dropped all her weight onto it. Tears fell from her cheeks and nose into the basin.

_ She was running at her father as he came in the door home from work. He acted playfully wounded before swooping her up in his arms. “Buffy! When did you get so strong? You’re gonna knock me right over one of these days.” _

Breath Buffy, breath.

_ “Tag you’re it!” Dawn hit her shoulder and dashed away. She had slowed down on purpose so that her little sister had a chance. It was more fun for both of them this way. They giggled as their feet danced over the grass. _

_ “Buffy! Dawn! Come over here and eat something!” Mom waved from the picnic table. She was sitting with Dad who smiled at the two of them sweetly, while snacking on a half sandwich. _

She opened her mouth and as steadily as possible took in a fresh stream of air. She tried to focus on the sensation of her chest expanding and deflating in consistent rhythm. 

After who knows how many repetitions she opened her eyes again and raised her drooping head. 

In the mirror she could see what a mess she had become. Black eyeliner was smudged across her cheek from where she wiped at the tears earlier. It was over the back of her hand as well. The sight of it made her sigh. Reaching to her right and fumbling slightly she took a paper towel from the dispenser. She wet it under the faucet then started work on removing the mark.

Behind her the bathroom door opened and closed as another woman entered the room.

"Oof that's a mess I wouldn't want to clean up."

Buffy stopped working to stare at the blonde in the bathroom with her. She was leaning against the opposite wall watching through the mirror.

"Can I help you?" Buffy said, really not appreciating an audience. 

"Just trying to use the bathroom." Her eyes followed the intruder walking up to the sink beside her. 

Buffy tired not to focus on the person too much but couldn’t help it when she felt so exposed. She wasn’t crying anymore but her makeup and blotchy complexion was a huge tell. Through the corner of her eye she kept an uneasy watch. She started noticing things, like the fact that this woman really needed a touch up on her roots. That paired with the red lipstick and heavily mascaraed eyelashes? It was like she _ wanted _ to look like a barbie.

"That guy out there mess with you?" The other woman didn't turn from the mirror where she was fixing her own makeup casually.

"No." Buffy was alternating rubbing the mark and wetting the paper towel to no avail. What she wouldn't give for her own makeup and remover right now. "He didn't do anything." She internally kicked herself for not just ignoring the nosey stanger.

“Fork, I was kinda hoping he did so I could bang him.”

She dropped the towel from her face into the sink. “What did you say?” Buffy wasn't sure she had heard right. It was barely louder than a whisper but she could have sworn-

"Nothing.” She was cut off mid thought.

The blonde looked away and started messing with her hair. Buffy really didn’t like the vibe she was getting. 

“You know," The lady started up again. "You seem a little young for him.” She kept looking at herself in the mirror but Buffy looked right at her. “Well actually you seem a little young to be here at all."

"Yeah" and she couldn't continue looking. “Life isn’t always fair.” It was probably a fluke to feel this way. The girl couldn’t be that bad if this was the Good Place right? Still, she really wanted to leave this conversation. 

Relief flooded her when the woman backed away from her sink and headed for the door. Now she might actually be able to focus on the task.

“Try olive oil.”

Buffy stopped to turn and look. “Huh?”

“For the makeup.” She made a gesture around her eyes. “Try using some olive oil. Might get it off easier.” Then there was a pause paired with a slight grimace. “You look like a bruised tomato after all that rubbing.”

“Um, thanks.” Buffy returned to the mirror and appraised herself. She felt like a tomato. She wasn't even sure what that meant but it definitely was her right now. The water wasn’t doing any good and the paper towel was abnormally rough. Scrubbing had just added little red lines to the mess. Maybe she should try the different method.

Eleanor left the bathroom to the sound of the unfortunate girl asking for the front desk lady. The door swung shut behind her with the telltale chime of Jasmine's arrival, or Jessica or whatever her name was. It didn't really matter. Her thoughts were on more interesting things. Maybe she could go for the hottie while his date was busy powdering her nose. 

Unfortunately, her own date had already noticed the man sitting alone.

“Eleanor come join us!” Her 'soulmate' called to her from the man’s table. She sighed but slipped on a cheery mask and walked over to the two of them. This whole situation was completely unfair. She was living in someone else's idea of paradise. Currently, she was pretending to be that someone else to avoid whatever the Bad Place is. It didn't help matters that everyone she’d met here had a stick up their butt. Why did her afterlife have to get all messed up? Where was her happy place for medium people?

She plopped unceremoniously in the open chair opposite the person called her soulmate and next to the boytoy.

“William here was just telling me about his life. He’s lived the actual 1800's. Can you believe it?”

Sizing this William up for more than just a good orgasm she noticed that he held himself as rigid as a cardboard cutout. “Is that right?” 

“Well, I was born in 1853. It's not as if I was about for the entire century.” The guy looked more nervous than a nerd she once dared to skip class in highschool.

“I’ll buy it.” She wasn't interested anyway. “So here with your girl huh?” She looked across the table at the impossible but stupidly gorgeous woman she was here with. “Me too.”

“William,” Tahani started without looking at him. Their eyes had met at the glance Eleanor gave her. Though kind the brown gaze held her own slightly longer than comfortable. She looked away first but out of embarrassment or frustration she wasn't sure. “This may come as a bit of a culture shock." She said, focus back on the man. "But Eleanor and I are soulmates.” Her stupidly perfect and blindingly white teeth were on display again. “Isn’t that so exciting?”

William’s very blue eyes grew wide. He looked back and forth between the two. Eleanor watched the way his curls bounced on his forehead with each turn of his head. Why were there so many attractive yet unavailable people here? Next chance she had she was asking Janet for a vibrator. _That_ was her name! Janet.

Finally his look started to soften. When he spoke he at least seemed to be perfectly composed. “I’m glad you have been blessed with the chance to meet each other.” 

She was impressed. For a guy almost two centuries in the past he adjusted quick. She had kinda hoped for more of a fluster out of him.

“It certainly came as quite a shock for the both of us.” Tahani was talking for her again. She debated saying something but it wasn’t worth mentioning. She was just going to keep doing it anyway. 

“It isn’t as if Eleanor is the first woman I have ever been with.” Oh man, Eleanor wanted to roll her eyes but instead did her best to offer a smile. This was definitely the start of another of the giraffe’s many name dropping stories. 

"My first experience kissing a girl led to a very embarrassing several months. Katy was an absolute sweetheart but she simply was horrid about keeping quiet.” As she spoke her hands were making these pompous gestures. It made Eleanor want to hold them down at her sides and see if she would still be able to speak.

“To think I finally had a song written about me and was too bashful to enjoy it."

Eleanor had to stifle a laugh. Tahani and bashful in the same sentence? Please.

“I mean, just _ imagine _ my parents horror at learning that I was using flavored chapstick over Guerlain. It certainly was a strange time in my life."

William stood from the table abruptly.

"I was completely incapable of listening to music without blushing for over a..." The story died off when Tahani noticed and followed his line of sight.

William was so relieved to see Buffy again. He had been terribly worried about her running off the way she had. He completely forgot about the two women at the table with him the instant he saw Buffy reemerge. His eyes were on her for the entire walk she made across the restaurant.

When she was almost in front of him he remembered himself and rushed to the other side of the table in order to pull out her chair. He was rewarded with a small smile. “Thank you.” 

Instead of sitting she spoke to him while looking at the table. “Are these friends of yours?” That was the moment he recalled that the rest of the world existed. He cleared his throat and was about to speak when his kinswoman of Indian descent answered in his stead. 

“Tahani Al Jamil.” She stood and Buffy had to crane her neck up even wearing heels. “You must be the infamous Buffy.” 

“Infamous?” She looked over to her date but he gave nothing away. She noted that even he was looking up and it made her feel a little less self conscious. ”I hope you haven’t been hearing anything bad.” Buffy glanced behind the crazy tall lady to the woman still sitting. She recognized her as the one who had been chatting her up in the bathroom only moments before. The realization put her on edge.

“Oh nothing in the slightest negative.” The standing woman, Tahani, continued. “I have only just met him and I can already tell William is completely enamored.” Hearing it said aloud had her suddenly thankful that her cheeks were too pink to notice a flush. “We were just keeping him company. Please do enjoy the rest of your date.”

Buffy watched the second stand and prepare to walk away with the taller woman.

“You look better.” Eleanor really had no idea why she cared at all but it felt kinda okay knowing her advice had helped, even just a little bit. Tahani grabbed her hand and pulled her swiftly to a booth not that far away. 

“So?” 

Eleanor stared at her dazed. “So what?”

“Tell me what happened of course!” Her eyes were bright, waiting for what Eleanor had to say. “Why was she secluded in the bathroom?”

“Was I supposed to be your recon team?” Her soulmate’s face lost intensity. Something akin to disappointment was in her eyes now. “Sorry, didn’t get the memo.” 

“You know as well as I do that Micheal was worried about these two.” She had shrugged off the expression so fast. “I thought we agreed that we were going to try and cheer him up by helping out.”

“Oh so that’s why we came here. I thought you were just hungry.” She waved down a waiter who was walking by. “Two margaritas.” He nodded and walked away.

Tahani looked surprised and she showed it with her whole body. She leaned backwards from the position she had been in. Her head tipped a notch downward with a slight tilt sideways while her eyes grew to show more than the usual hint of white. Elenore was not blind to the fact that all her expressions were overplayed like this. “You ordered me a margarita?”

“Oh those were both for me." Confusion filtered over her date's face. She gave what she hoped was an inocently charming smile. "Do you want something?”

“Well, maybe I didn’t-”

“So you can order when you figure it out. Meanwhile I can get a head start with some tasty tequila.” She proceeded to do the cabbage patch in her seat, excited about the sweet and salty beverage to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Elenor and Tahani made their first appearance and they are together. We know it happened at least once that Michael paired them up.
> 
> Hats off to Katy Perry's 'I Kissed a Girl' Tahani had one heck of a life.
> 
> Hope you liked it! We will be moving into actual plot soon, promise.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picking up right where we left off with our two sets of soulmates on two very different types of dates.

The clacking sound of silverware against ceramic bowls and plates ticked against his psyche. Glasses tapping against the tables rung out like hard knocks on a cabin door. Every voice within the restaurant met his ears with utmost clarity. All except the one which mattered. He wanted to listen to Buffy. He wanted to learn every small detail about her. Yet found himself unable to focus on the gorgeous woman before him. 

He found her no less bewitching, her voice still ran across his senses soft as a tricking steam over a bed of river rock. It was simply too difficult to make out the words. She could have been speaking German and it would not hinder him any worse. The meaning within her speech was not reaching him.

He could feel sweat dampen his collar before noticing the heat which was overtaking him. He briefly considered removing his dining jacket but thought it much too informal to go without. A quick glance over his shoulder to the other patrons showed that no one else noticed this sudden spike in temperature.

“William?” A soothing crash of water against the shore of his troubled mind. Buffy had called to him. Could he remember anything they were talking about? He looked to her and was trapped within the volume of concern he saw. Her hazel eyes shone an earthy green tint against the warm candlelight. “Are you doing okay? You’ve been really quiet."

“Simply listening to you speak.” Maybe it was wrong to lie, but he was scared to show her a fault so soon. This place, all the people here. He had never been one for company, but this? This was much worse than he had ever been. “You have a lovely voice.” While he spoke the truth as he saw it. He recognized the complement as the misdirection that it was. 

She accepted the complement with a fluster and continued where she left off. Apparently they had been talking about her schooling. She must be a great scholar from the extent of subjects she mentioned studying.

“I’m a little bit worried about them.” Eleanor was not surprised at the comment. Tahani had been doing nothing but look past her to the couple seated a few tables away since they sat down. She was tired of it already. Every few seconds painted a different expression on Tahani's face. Half of them looked like new and exciting varieties of constipation. Tequila was a real friend for getting her through this.

“Why’s that?” She offered unenthusiastically while starting in on her fourth or fifth margarita. 

Mhmmm. She closed her eyes and savored the taste. How did this place manage to get the perfect amount of salt in even the first sip? If there was anything more comforting to her than the icy Mexican beverage she had no idea what it was. It tasted exactly as her mom taught her to make it when she was little, only better. And that was mostly because she didn't have to drink it with her mother.

“It doesn’t look like William is speaking at all.” Tahani was saying. “He needs to loosen up or this date is going nowhere.”

“I like a guy who doesn’t talk much.” Plenty of other good uses for a tongue.

The dark amber eyes across the table from her grew wide which frightened Eleanor. Was the alcohol making her say things she thought she was only thinking? Things the 'real' Eleanor wouldn't say? Her self preservation instinct was on high alert until realizing that Tahani’s interest was still with something else.

“Quick!” Tahani spoke suddenly in a stage whisper. “Say something romantic!” She grabbed Eleanor’s hands in her own making her let go of the drink and leaned in over the table. Eleanor was nursing a pleasant buzz. Just enough to make her feel warm and fuzzy. The movement, after a moment of surprise, was fun. It felt like riding a not completely shirty carnival ride. She let herself be pulled until she mirrored Tahani’s posture.

They were close, closer than they had ever been before now. Her hands were clutched lightly in Tahani’s between them. Still enjoying the sensations, her thumb caressed the soft skin of her soulmate’s hand. So much softer than the hands of any boyfriend she had in life. She drew her eyes up to the woman’s face. Tahani's form was rigid, her focus far away, but Eleanor refused to notice. Her cheeks looked like they might be even softer than her hands. Blissfully oblivious to most everything else, she brought up her palm to caress the skin smooth as satin. Her own pale hand accentuated the richer pigment which was a part of Tahani's beauty.

A flutter of black eyelashes came with the return of attention she had been deprived by the British socialite. Eleanor didn’t like admitting to herself how sexy this speechless look was. With the alcohol, her inhibitions were out of the way. No pesky thoughts or logic was going to stop her. She tipped her head in, pulling the goddess’s closer with her light grip.

In the few days Tahani had known Eleanor she hadn’t actually given the woman much thought. The majority of her focus had been on her welcome party, Michael's troubles and the crazy, blue haired fashion designer who also happened to be her neighbor. That woman was beyond infuriating, constantly wanting to change things about her look. Whether it was her home, clothes or makeup it made no difference. Tahani couldn't stand it. Worse yet she spoke of Kamilah as her one true muse.

So when the lady herself walked through the door of the restaurant, she dove headfirst into the first thing she could think of that might convince the bench to stay away.

That was how she found herself lip locked with the relatively drab humanitarian she called a soulmate. The hand on her cheek was a comfort she hadn't known she needed. She unconsciously leaned into it as her entire body melted with their first kiss. It was perfectly chaste. Nothing involved beyond their lips. Still it emptied her thoughts of anything but the action. Eleanor slowly let up on the embrace and she was sad to feel it go. A second later the hand upon her face also left her.

She sat up in her chair before letting her eyes open. Eleanor still sat across from her, drink still cupped between her hands. For a second she thought it only a daydream. The glass's rim sat pressed against the blonde's bottom lip. The same lip that had just been between her own. Her memory of it, too detailed to be anything but real.

"Was that distraction enough for you?"

"I-" the statement reminded her of what she asked. She had wanted an excuse. Any excuse to avoid the other woman. It made her hit earth again. She had gotten exactly what she asked for. "It worked. So I suppose so." 

A foreign emotion filled her, made her sick. Disappointment? Regret? The expression Eleanor had was not one she was able to read. It was almost indifferent, which only made what she felt worse.

A few feet beyond the odd pair was another. William had redoubled his efforts to stay calm. Their appetizer of cheese and bread had just been brought out. He figured it might calm him to have an occupation for his hands. He started to reach towards the platter when he noticed a visible tremor.

No. It would be best not to it seemed. Gripping his hands under the table he tried to place all his focus on the subject of his affections. His free fingers continued to tap against his leg with a mind of their own as she spoke. 

“I really was hoping I could go back after everything was over. College felt like the normal girl thing to do you know?” 

At noticing the upturn of intonation which signaled a question he nodded. Thankfully, an affirmation was all she was looking for. He wasn’t sure he could have offered her a vocal response at this point. He had done nothing to alter his breathing and he was still unable to intake enough air. His throat was closing itself from inside. It steadily grew more restricted. To swallow simply saliva was akin to eating rocks. It felt as if stones were catching in his chest and dropping heavy in his stomach. 

His eyes at some point drifted to Buffy’s lips. They moved in time with a melody he could no longer hear. She seemed to be speaking with passion. He longed to be drawn into the current she was creating. However, it was not to be. He could not reach her. The distance across the table had grown without changing in his eyes. It was a distance one could only feel. A hundred years spread between them. He wanted to reach through it, take her hand in his own and prove to himself that the space between them was imaginary.

He craved it. Wished for it more than anything. If only his body would do what he was telling it to.

“Do you know what you would like to have tonight?”

A jolt of sensation overwhelmed him. The electrical shock between nerve endings caused the statue he had become to jump within his seat. The steward had come over to take their order, that was all. Nothing to panic about. The two men looked at each other. William wondered how horribly shocked he must appear to rouse such a pitying face from this young man.

Somehow Buffy had not noticed. “Wow, I hadn’t even thought to look at a menu. Jeez, that’s kind of embarrassing." She was searching around the table and not a witness to the scene which transpired before her. “Are there any menus?” 

The waiter cleared his throat and steeled his features. William was markedly jealous at the control the stranger had over his emotions. "There generally aren't since this place offers any meal you can think of. All the same I could have one made up for you of popularity ordered dishes and chief specials.”

“Um, I think I can think of something.” She finally looked across the table to address him. “Did you know what you want William?” 

“Whatever the chef has on special is fine.”

Buffy bit the corner of her mouth as he watched. Had he done something wrong with his order? Should he ask for something specific? Would it be worse to look indecisive by changing it now? The time she took nibbling her lip felt like an eternity.

“Could I have mac n’ cheese?”

“Certainly." The waiter responded with ease. "Do you want the baked four cheese your grandmother made?”

“You can do that?” Her eyes were so large in surprise. Surprise that gave way to happiness as the server nodded. “Yes please that would be wonderful!” Her cheeks rounded and lines formed by her eyes with the size of her smile.

Though he smiled in turn he did not feel the joy he expected it to bring.

**Roughly 100 Years Prior**

The news of the wait he had before him had devastating impact. He spent hours lost to the world and himself. Reality was almost a foreign concept. 

When William finally re-emerged from underneath the ocean of doubt inside his head he was in a division of the library he had not come upon previously. The entire layout of this area looked different. Where he had been was a carefully carved Victorian masterpiece. This however, was thoroughly utilitarian. The shelves were made of a simple hardwood and very close to each other. Beyond them was a railed landing with stairs heading down and curving inward around a table. The table was likely situated there, in the center of the room, to read at, or discuss matters of importance. Beyond it looked to be storage to the right and office space to the left. The far wall was bizarrely blank. Considering the open space before it, he wondered if it was originally meant to harbor a door. An entryway on that side would make more since with the layout of the room. There was even a counter that looked as if it might be a reception desk.

Another oddity was that lighting in here was drastically more intense. It was bright enough that he found himself looking upward just to make sure he hadn't stepped into the out of doors. 

Curious of the library within a library, he stepped from the open area back into the stacks to look around. Every section was full of authors he had yet to read. There were so many of them. He racked his brain but found that he could not recall ever hearing the names. Faced with the conundrum, he called for Janet.

"Hi there William." He had to turn around to face her as she appeared behind him. It was all still very strange but was growing more used to it lately. "How can I help you?" Her demeanor, cheery as ever.

"I recognize that I risk repeating myself. However, where am I?"

"Your Good Place home is an extension of yourself. As such it is designed with your preferences in mind."

"I believe you said this my first day."

"That is correct.” She stopped for a moment to let him take in her smile. He supposed this was a point where a normal person would have offered a smile they had yet to show. “Your library is one of those preferences."

“I don't mean to offend. It is simply that I would not mark this area as within my usual taste."

"Of course not. This section isn't yours."

"Did you not only a moment ago tell me the library was mine?"

"I did." She spoke with the exuberance of a primary school teacher. "You have a good memory."

"Why is there a section which is not mine if the library is? Whose is it?"

"Well that would be because one of the core desires of your personality is to make people you care about comfortable." The explanation paused for a moment. "Often at the sacrifice of your own happiness." She added. "This section was in fact based in design on the library which your soulmate frequents most regularly during her time on earth. When you learned of her existence the library adapted to be what you needed.”

"So these authors and titles?” He gestured to the multitude of books at his disposal. “These are from her time?"

"Correct. Will that be all?

"Yes, thank you Janet." She disappeared and he continued talking, if only to himself. "So she too is an appreciator of the arts." It was a lovely thought. Perhaps they would be able to share interests when she arrived.

He explored the deep stacks for hours before he chose to read one of the novels. He sat down at the table and perhaps it was wishful thinking, but he could feel her presence. 

He carried with him a fantasy titled 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.' What compelled him to take it off the shelf was something he could not explain. He however, was drawn into reading it at discovering the author was a woman. It was a delight to see that women had become as prominent in authorship as men. A part of him hoped that it may give him insight into her world.

Over most of the next century he hardly spent any time outside the library. There were occasional visitors but the perk of a library so large was that avoiding unwanted company is terribly simple. 

Strangely he found that the philosophy section was the one most visited by other residents. There was a Nigerian fellow who visited there every few months, or perhaps years. He wasn't entirely sure anymore. They had an interaction once where William was able to practice his conversational French which had become rusty with age. 

Mostly the man entered alone but occasionally, he came in with a blonde who's expressions ran the gamut between extremely interested and thoroughly bored out of her mind. He approached them once to inquire if this woman was Mr. Anagonye's soulmate. To his horror, he found himself caught up in introductions again as if they had never met. After the encounter, he chose not to approach the man again. Lest he embarrass himself further in discovering he was forgotten for a second time. 

The only visitor he entertained regularly was Michael. Michael would insist that they leave the library and venture into town. Rarely did William allow himself to be convinced. The architect was quite kind in checking up on his mental state over the years but the visits often led to a worsened feeling of depression for several days. It was easier to forget how long he was waiting when it was just himself and the books.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to let the character web come together so you all can start seeing the personal hells I altered/wrote up for each one of our 'heroes'. I finally mentioned Chidi! That blurb was originally going to come much earlier but it fits better here I think. Next chapter goes Buffy-centric again
> 
> Anyway thanks again so much for reading folks! Means a lot to see the kudos and read the comments.


	8. Chapter 8

Buffy meandered around the building in the comfiest clothing she had ever worn. The form fitting leggings didn't look like much but they were way nicer than a pair of baggy grey sweats. Those generally were her go to mope pants. 

Up top she had a wide neck, long sleeve sweater that came just a little bit lower than normal shirts. It was lazy chique and she was growing to love it.

It was much better than dumb dinners with their fussy makeup and annoying heels her stupid dates. Stupid pointless doomed dates.

Needless to say her date hadn't gone well.

In her hands was a bowl of peanut butter and 'class was canceled' twist. Every few shuffles of her slippered feet had her shoveling another impossibly large bite into her mouth. Her slipper socks were super soft and cute with little bunnies on them. Unfortunately, they were too tight so she ended up opting for barefoot after traveling a few hallways.

Janet had given her a quick tour but there was a lot of her new house she had yet to get to know. The place seemed almost too big for one person. Continuing to explore she found herself imagining unnecessary rooms repurposed for her sister and friends. Dawn would be at the end furthest from her. Hopefully it would prevent her from stealing her clothes all the time. Willow of course would have to be in a room adjoining her own. They could install a door between them and gossip away through the night like they had in highschool.

Giles and Xander would live here too but a little farther away. They could even have a whole floor to themselves. Sometimes girls just needed space to be girls after all. Boys probably felt the same right?

But if Xander and Willow were here that would mean Anya and Tara too. Not that there's anything wrong with them. Well there were definitely things wrong with Anya but that was beside the point. It just seemed so unfair that her friends could be so happily in love. I mean here she was in the forking Good Place with her  _ soulmate _ and she still couldn't seem to get the guy to stay around. 

What was so wrong with her? 

Why was she unlovable?

Her fists hit a sandbag in punctuation to each question. Lost in her head she didn't remember the actual walk down to her gym. She did know that she migrated there feeling the need to beat something up. The act however was lost to her. Too much unfocused energy and not enough vampire fodder to slay. She had just stopped for more of her frozen treat when the doorbell rang.

Bare feet carried her to the front door. A few neighbors had stopped by with fruit baskets and other thoughtful gifts in the past few days. Apparently she was the last to arrive and everyone wanted to make her feel welcome even though she missed the party. This was likely another well wisher.

She took a towel in her free hand and swiped at her neck and forehead before dropping it to twist and push on the door handle. On her steps was not a new person but rather the one person in town she didn't feel great about. It was the blonde woman that she had briefly met at dinner the other night. Pretty sure Eleanor was her name.

"Hey Betty"

"It's Buffy."

"Sorry, I was close." The apology didn't seem terribly sincere. "Anyway," She invited herself in, stepping past Buffy and pushing her way into the training room that took up the entire ground floor. Elenor looked around appraising the sparsely furnished place before acknowledging her again. "You're like a genuine hero right?"

What a way to start off a conversation. "I mean yeah kinda. I've saved the world a couple times."

"Cool, cool." Buffy was quickly being reminded of how little she liked this woman. Who else could be so flippant about apocalypseses-apocali? Apocalypsees? "That would probably mean you have impeccable morals or something wouldn't it?"

Putting her serious need for a plural aside she let herself think about the question. "Really not sure about that. I've for sure done things I'm not proud of."

"Huh, sounds like the kind of thing someone with morals would say."

"Um… maybe? What's this all about? I was in the middle of training." That was kinda a lie. She had  _ meant _ to be training but she was actually just pummeling her equipment. You couldn't really call that training. Remembering the icy treat in her hand she moved her arms behind herself. Gorging on frozen yogurt didn't fit with the whole training story.

"Well, uh" Luckily Eleanor seemed to be in her own world right now. "I was looking for someone to help me and I thought that you, with your hero-yness, might be apt to do that."

"I guess that's kinda what I do, help people." She managed to shuffle herself to a windowsill where she discreetly set down the paper cup of frozen yogurt. 

"Awesome." Elenor clapped her hands then suddenly was right up in her space. Buffy unfortunately had made things worse on herself my backing up to the wall. She had more than enough strength to push the lady off of her but the shock of the action briefly made her forget. "I'm not supposed to be here."

"What?" As gently as she could manage she pushed the woman out of her space by one shoulder. The touch highlighted how her hands still buzzed from the workout. 

With their places reversed and more distance between them Buffy rephrased her confusion. "Not supposed to be where?"

"Here." She watched as Eleanor pointed to the ground like that meant something. "As in the Good Place."

That made no sense. Unless she meant she wasn't supposed to be dead or- Oh. "Are you a demon or something?"

"What? No." At being called a demon Eleanor scrunched her nose up. She looked at Buffy like there was a second head growing off her shoulder.

"I don't get involved with human stuff." Buffy brought both hands up in a harmless gesture. "I leave the police for that. My expertise lies with supernatural only."

"Wow you really sound like a goody two shoes." Whatever air of kindness the older blonde had been putting on was gone now. Buffy couldn't help but imagine Cordelia standing in front of her, or the other brunette she had a rocky relationship with.

Her mood dropped and expression darkened. "And you sound like Faith."

"Don't go that far on me. Never been one for all that religion bullshirt. Did make a couple bucks off the 'take some leave some' basket they passed around at my ex's church though."

The slayer wasn't religious but she still didn't go around stealing from holy people. What was this woman's problem? Eleanor seemed to take offense to the disgust that leaked onto Buffy's face.

"Hey! It's for the needy and I was needy. Needed a good drink after listening to a guy talk about the man in the sky for three hours. I've heard people talk about men in the sky before. Don't need god to see that. Just an unfortunate mix of acid and molly."

The aside threw Buffy off guard. Normally she could hold her own in an argument but this lady was all over the place.

"Anyway this  _ is  _ supernatural stuff." Eleanor went on, looping back to topic. Are you just going to let an innocent be tortured forever?"

"I wouldn't do that!" And it was true. She couldn't knowingly consign anyone to that kind of fate.

"No? But that's what you're doing if you don't help me. Untold torture by demons and who knows what else." Eleanor was practically screaming her point. "I mean have you heard what is going on in the Bad Place? It's literally your worst nightmare."

She hadn't really thought about it. She knew that demons were sent to hell when she killed them. Angel had been stuck there for who knows how long. It had turned him into a raging animal. She hadn't even considered the idea that humans went there too. Not beyond the slave ring she broke up in LA anyway.

That kind of torture. It could make anyone a demon.

"Did you pick and choose who you helped on Earth too?" Eleanor was still shouting at her. "Did you say 'that girl has one too many parking tickets so it's okay if she is eaten by vampires or whatever'?"

"I get it! Stop already. I'll help you."

"Wow, really? I mean yes thank you so much. You won't regret it."

She was already regretting it. "What did you want me to do anyway?"

"I honestly hadn't gotten that far. You're some kind of hero so I thought you might have an idea."

"I work best under stress. As in 'sword swinging at my neck' stress, not the 'haven't studied for this test' kind. Normally now is when my watcher would go into research mode."

"Books? Ew, no thanks."

Buffy felt the same about research but hearing Eleanor say that pissed her off. "You do realize we are talking about your fate for all eternity right? Least you could do is crack a book."

She looked like she was about to say something but Buffy cut her off. "We need more help though. I wouldn't have any idea where to start. You know anyone bookish?"

"Maybe one but he's kind of a complete dork."

"We don't really have the room to be picky. Go find him and bring him here." 

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go find my own dork" 

She didn't want to go see William again after how he ended their date. But he was one of the only people she really knew here and he had spoken about being a scholar before he stopped talking to her altogether. Eleanor and her parted ways with a promise to meet back here tonight.

_-_-_

"I still can't believe you just left her there." Samantha was perched on the arm of settee one leg crossed over the other. Her hair was braided up to hang over one shoulder of her purple pants suit. The crazy thing about today's look was the blue false eyelashes she wore with lipstick to match.

"Yet I did."

Somehow Samantha had become his saving grace. When, overwhelmed, he had run from his date, she followed him and helped him home. Now here she was again, across the sitting room, checking up on him for the fourth time this week.

"Deck move." He winced at the turn of phrase, by now he understood when the woman was really meaning to swear. "So what are you going to do next?"

"What is there to do? I have failed at courting Buffy miserably. She won't want to speak to me again. Perhaps for years." He appreciated Samantha's friendship but he wanted to mope and that is something best done alone.

"You know what might cheer you up?" She stood with exuberance William couldn't fathom. "A drink. I make a mean old fashioned."

"No thank you." He gave a light protesting wave.

"Just the scotch then?" She said, already working on the beverages. "I can do that too."

His home, being in the style of his time, was of course outfitted with a small bar in several rooms. Casual drinking was not only commonplace, it was expected during most social occasions. Were it not such a practice he would have denied the glass his odd benefactor placed in his hand.

"I don't know what happened to me." His airy voice matched the exhaustion he felt. 

"From everything you've described and what I saw, you had a panic attack." She used the furniture correctly this time if only to be closer to his downturned head.

"I imagine that name is self explanatory but humor me would you?"

"You could call it a burst of anxiety. Something triggered the innate human 'fight or flight's response and you chose flight." 

He looked up at her feeling determined. "I will not let it happen again."

"It doesn't work like that." The pity she offered hurt. It made him feel weak. "You can't just turn it off."

"You said something triggered it. That tells me what I can do. I can remove the trigger." 

Her eyebrows raised making her dark eyes seem much larger. "You think you know what the trigger is then?"

He nodded while taking a sip of the Scotch. It was nice, reminded him of the bottles that would be served at important meetings and other such gatherings. When he was working away from his mother's home it was one of the few things he spent money on. Couldn't skimp if you were going to be a good host. And you had to be a good host if were going to change anyone's mind.

"People."

-_-_-

Buffy pulled her sweater back over her head and threw on one of five new pairs of boots she impulse bought this week. Not like you could really call it buying when it's all expenses paid, but whatever.

Boots securely tied up she stood and looked around at the large open training room. This was  _ so _ not going to work as a Scooby headquarters. Oh well, it wasn't as if this was going to be the Scoobies anyway. She was dead and the rest of the gang were still living.

Resigning herself not to think about her loving friends she pushed open the front door and stepped out into the afternoon light. Still she couldn't help but wonder what was going on for them right now as she set off towards the one person her who reminded her of home.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late posting. I kept changing my mind about how much was going to happen this chapter. First it was too long, then too short, then too long again. Anyway I finally worked it out. I hope you enjoy!

Eleanor stood outside wondering just where to find the university professor she was thinking of. She had met him the night of Tahani's welcome party. 

He had been standing at the buffet talking to no one in particular about there being too many options. She called it a buffet but it really wasn't. A buffet was something like the Golden Corral. Steak and chicken and pizza and more shrimp than she could eat. There was a reason why they called it all you can eat. Tahani's version, well she didn't recognize half the things on display there. Plus the plates were ridiculously tiny. The man of interest was dressed to the nines like everyone else who showed up. Tahani had tried to convince her to wear this ball gown looking thing. Eleanor couldn't stomach it. Instead she opted for a simple style sleek dress. It was a floor length silver with a cut up her leg to mid thigh. It was hours before Tahani let it go that her soulmate was going silver when she already decided to accent gold. Funny the things rich people got particular about. Tahani still brought it up occasionally, used it to guilt her into doing things she wanted to.

Not managing to think up any leads she started walking to the center of town. She wouldn't normally remember someone she met only once. Especially not when she was as drunk as she was at that party. 

She was probably on her third glass or better when the two started talking. Like everyone else at the party he was desperately boring and way too nice. Halfway through the conversation she had started picturing him as a sexy postman to get through it. _ That _ was what made him memorable. Ten outta ten would imagine again, and she was. Right now in fact. The daydream had made everything he said a thousand times more interesting. She still forgot most of the discussion's content but she _ did _ remember that he taught history. She was proud of herself for remembering that tidbit.

Luck was on her side because she ran into the man on her mind after turning the next corner.

He corrected his glasses with several apologies before he looked at her. "You're Eleanor right? Sorry again, I didn't see you there."

"It's all good uh…" Fork. "What was your name again?"

"Chidi, we met at Tahani's welcome party."

"Chidi" So that was what it was. She was spectacularly bad at names, particularly because she didn't care about them in the slightest. "I remember you Chidi." Planning on buttering him up she gave him her most charming canned smile. "So, what have you been up to all this time?" 

If she was going to convince him to help out she would have to work it in slowly. Before all the death and dying she was a master manipulator. At least when she wanted to be. 

"I uh." He seemed flustered. Acting friendly was aided by the mailman image in her head. Maybe too well. Was she coming off flirty? It might explain his nervousness. "I've wanted to rewrite my thesis but I still haven't decided on a topic." She tilted her head and made it look like she was interested. Really she was waiting for a good lead in for her request. "I've written the start to four different topics already. Lately I've been considering writing them all. All the time you'd ever want in the afterlife right?" He chuckled at that. "Problem is that I still have to decide where to start."

Yeah he was definitely the kind of nerd who would be what Buffy asked for. She could barely believe he actually _ wanted _ to lock himself up with old books. Sounded like a nightmare to her. He could do literally anything here and that's what he chose?

"Maybe taking some time off would help make the decision for you."

"I hadn’t considered that. What would I do?"

"Hey it's the Good Place right? What do you want to do?" She couldn't reasonably ask him to drop one academic project for another. There would be a way to ask eventually. She had to be patient. She hated being patient but her fate was resting on this. Buffy was a hero, and more likely to say yes. Chidi was just a regular guy. A regular guy that was good enough to be here but still just a regular guy. When it came down to it she meant nothing to him.

"There's so much. I'd love to do a few social experiments to gauge natural reactions to morally gray actions."

"That's your idea of fun? Maybe we should start with something smaller." She watched as he thought for a moment before speaking.

"Well a picnic by the water might be nice."

"Then we'll do that!" She grabbed him by the arm and started walking to the river. "While we are at it, I can tell you what I've been up to lately.” And hopefully wrangle up your help.

On the other side of town Buffy was failing to do the other half of the job. In addition to asking for help, she had wanted to talk to William about the strangeness of his actions. Except she was scared of what he might say. That her own soulmate might not even find her worth sticking around for. She could see the door to his home, the stone path that led past a small fence, quaint garden and finally ended at a simple door. She could see herself walking up to it, knocking on the door. She could do exactly that. _Should_ do exactly that. Yet she didn’t move a step closer. Instead she turned around and walked herself home.

When she entered the door she immediately threw off her boots. Were her feet growing or all her shoes shrinking? They felt way too tight, tighter than they had been when she picked them up at the outlet. Now that she thought about it. That was not the only thing that had been bothering her. Everything felt off. It occurred to her then that something was wrong, had been since she died and ended up in this place. Her skin still pricked to the touch, felt like the nerve endings were constantly misfiring. It almost reminded her of the way she felt when a vampire was nearby. Only that feeling was localized. Gathered at the back of her neck. This was everywhere. Particularly where her clothes rubbed against her skin, like her ankles, wrists and neck. But her fingers and toes also bothered her, well irritated her anyway.

"Janet?" She called from the safety of her home. She needed help to get to the bottom of this. Eleanor’s problem could wait.

A lovely chime signaled her arrival. "Hi Buffy, what can I do for you?" She seemed distracted, as if she wasn't fully focused on helping and instead caught up thinking about something else. Maybe Buffy was just being paranoid.

"Do we keep side effects from the way we died?"

"Well that answer would depend on the information you are asking for. If we are talking physically, then no. However, if you were wondering psychologically, then yes. Memory of death is a traumatic stressor that can cause severe psychotic breakdowns. Upon entry into the Good Place, all memories of the instant of your death are extricated to prevent such an occurrence. In the case of traumatic or embarrassing deaths we erase the entire event."

Maybe that is the problem then. "I remember dying. It was weird but not particularly traumatizing."

"It still would be a concern." Whatever calculations were happening behind her eyes changed focus. Now Janet was entirely focused on her. It made Buffy feel a little nervous about what this could mean. "Are you experiencing any headaches, nightmares, weakness, dizziness, changes in vision, depression, decorporealization or shortness of breath?"

"Um, wow. No, I just have a weird tingling sensation throughout my body half the time. Especially my hands and feet."

She was silent for a moment. "Have you eaten an abnormal amount of sugar or caffeine recently?"

"...No?" She had been eating a lot of frozen yogurt and variously flavored nonfat lattes but neither in abnormal quantities.

"Unfortunately my database is not having luck finding an analogous situation to the problem. Which is surprising considering that my database contains the whole of human knowledge." Buffy struggled to hear the next piece of information Janet spoke. "Then again, considering recent events I may know less than I thought." She didn't know what to make of the strange statement and didn't have time to ponder it before Janet went on. "I need more information. Can you describe the sensation in more detail?"

"I guess it's like I always feel a little off but when I touch something or am touched by someone I feel way too much or sometimes nothing at all." With a pause she tried to put the feeling into words. She even tapped her fingers to her arm to make it happen again. "It's almost as if I'm feeling things but not the way I'm supposed to be. Like my brain is getting the wrong information."

"Interesting. Have you noticed any muscle weakness?"

"Well now that you mention it I don't feel quite as strong. I thought I might not keep all my Slayer strength in the afterlife." Her hand rubbed up and down her arm sending tiny shocks through the limb.

"And coordination?"

"Uh... I had a hard time putting my earrings in this morning.” She ceased rubbing and instead brought the hand over the simple stud in her right ear. “I assumed I was still half asleep."

"How about if I increase the temperature in this room?"

Suddenly it was crazy hot and Buffy could feel a sweat starting. "Stop the heatwave!" With one arm thrown out in between them she pulled at the collar of her shirt and fanned herself until the room cooled down. "What was with trying to cook me there? I'm not a turkey to roast up for Thanksgiving."

"You reacted more quickly than expected. It seems your sensitivity to heat has increased." Janet's expression was a mix of concern and confusion.

"Does that mean something to you?" Buffy withdrew her hand from her collar feeling sorely in need of a shower after that.

"Trauma induced peripheral neuropathy."

"Trauma whosa what now?"

"Trauma induced peripheral neuropathy." Buffy said nothing this second time and waited for Janet to explain. "You said you remember your death. At the risk of causing further damage to your psyche; How did it feel?"

"Not like much of anything really. It was really painful for a second. I've never been struck by lightning but it was probably something similar. After it just felt like nothing."

"Nerve damage. Sometimes when nerves are damaged they don’t knit back together properly. One such case is peripheral neuropathy. I don't believe you actually have the condition. Your body should be in perfect health here since we restored you. Only your mind doesn't believe it. It's overreacting and underreacting to stimuli."

"Is there something we can do about it?"

"I can request that Michael wipe your memory but it would have to be of your entire time here as well as your death. Should you retain any memories of this physiological reaction it may return." She paused for a moment. "It is curious that this happened. I don't remember anyone having caused this to themselves before. Nor the mistake of not removing the memory of death.”

  
Buffy looked shocked at hearing what would fix her. Janet didn't react, had no reason to unless Buffy asked for assistance. The inside of a Janet's mind is not comparable to that of a human's. It isn't even comparable to the much advanced mind of a demon. It contains a wealth of knowledge so vast that a new word would have to be created in order to describe the volume. What it generally lacks is empathy and the ability to understand human emotion on a basal level.

Imagine all the data accessible by internet. She knows more. She could tell you the statistics of human reaction to a picture on the internet. She understands that pictures of animals are cute, that political reposts on Facebook are annoying. She knows what jokes are funny and may laugh to seem human, never to express enjoyment. She knows enough to mimic emotion convincingly. Knows far more than that subject and knows all of them to the same extent. As such, is far easier to compile a list of things Janet does not know, than a list of things she does. 

This would be one of the few things Janet could not do. Needless to say, it is fairly difficult to know that which you do not. She did however, know at least one thing now that she did not use to. The information hit her in an unexpected way. It was making her feel. This situation with Buffy wasn’t even the first thing she had relearned today. In fact, it was probably the less impactful of the two revelations.

**Earlier That Day**

"Michael?"

Janet popped into the room but for the first time he could remember in near three hundred resets she seemed hesitant. It was a subtle difference. He doubted that the humans would notice it so he decided not to press the subject. Instead he shelved it in his mind for a later date. "Yes Janet, what is it?"

"You have a visitor."

This was new. Janet wasn't his secretary. He never wanted her to be. At best she was his partner, at worst his pawn but never a secretary. Something about calling her that lessened the impact how much she did. She was truly a marvel and he'd grown to enjoy her company. It was always a refreshing break from the single minded demons and bumbling, chewing humans. Always with the chewing.

If someone, human or otherwise, wanted to talk to him they walked in, or sometimes even knocked but that was rare.

"They are asking for your permission to enter this domain."

"Permission to enter the office?" Bizarre way to word that. "Granted I suppose."

"...Okay"

At her word a door appeared from nothing in the middle of the room. The office chair underneath him shifted back to the echo of plastic wheels. It was surprising to say the least. The only way in and out of his town was the train. He had made sure of that. Yet here there was a stranger stepping through an entry they themselves had created. His worst fear was that Shawn was coming but Shawn would not bother to ask permission.

What met him instead was the least remarkable person he had ever met. The man was just under an average height. Couldn't be called overweight but at the same time far from fit. In the center of his face was a nose slightly too big and definitely crooked. The rest of his visage was… proportionate. 

"Wow." The plain man looked around with wide eyes at everything he saw. "This is so neat!" He stopped just long enough to take the whole room in then turned to face Michael.

"Hi there! I'm Lawrence. I'm here as a representative of the Good Place. Before I tell you why, I just want to get across how amazing it is to be here right now. Thank you so much for inviting me into your place of work. I've always been so curious about how the Bad Place works you know." He laughed. "Call it a morbid fascination."

Were they here about his commandeering of Janet? Sweat built at the collar of his skinsuit. "While I must admit I've felt the same in reverse I need to ask: To what do I owe the pleasure?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peripheral neuropathy is a real condition and requires a doctor's diagnosis. It generally effects the hands and feet but can travel up to higher points on the limbs in more serious cases. I took some liberties for my own reasons. It was kind of difficult to describe but I spoke to a few people who have the condition and tried to use their descriptions and issues they have as much as possible. If you know about it and think anything doesn't ring true please say something.


	10. Chapter 10

"Jason?" Janet knew exactly where he was but still she spoke the question conscious of his privacy.

"Janet you're back!" The Floridian threw down his controller without pausing the game. He was still in his Tibetan monk robes but they both knew he wasn't a monk. She had known it from the first moment she saw him. It had only been further confirmed when the boy, who should have been sworn to a vow of silence, started asking her questions.

She remembered it perfectly. The two overseers had shown him to his sparsely furnished one room apartment. She saw the way his expression flashed between confusion and surprise to carefully neutral when Michael looked his way. It peaked her curiosity. He tapped her on her arm when they had turned to leave. His eyes begging her to stay. She already located and memorized his true file of Jason Mendoza by then.

"I know who you are Jason." She had told him once they were alone. He let go of her arm quickly but did not react the way she predicted. 

"Oh good." He sighed. "For a second I thought that those drugs Pillboi offered tripped me up so hard that I that I wasn't me anymore and instead this guy named John Loo who died and found out just to be brought to an empty room by an old man and pretty lady."

"Well you did die and I did bring you to this room."

"So you're telling me I'm dead, you aren't Donkey Doug and this isn't the bathroom of the 7eleven on second street?"

"Correct. You are dead, I am not a donkey and this is not a bathroom."

"But I am on drugs?"

"No you are not on any drug. Nor multiple drugs." She added the last part predicting his next question when he opened his mouth.

"Then why is everything so weird?"

She still couldn't explain why she helped him. If she didn't know what she was, she would say she simply wanted to.

"Hi Jason." She smiled at him and he innocently smiled back. Everything in this windowless room was something she made for him. The TV, the beanbag, the bags of junk food and crooked posters. Even the fold away jacuzzi. All of it.

"Did you come to watch me and the Jaguars destroy the Colts?" Excited to show her, he turned around. Unfortunately that was when he noticed the game was still playing. "Oh no no no! They're going to score!" He dived for the controller but it was too late. The AI had taken possession of the ball and ran it to the endzone for a touchdown. The players on his team ran with but made no plays without him telling them to. His posture sank drastically into itself. He let his head droop and arms go limp. "Sorry Janet. It won't be a clean finish now." Six points on the wrong side of the scoreboard glared menacingly at him through the screen. Now he had to deal with the rival team attempting a two point conversion. Like hell he would let that happen.

"It's okay. I actually came to talk to you about something."

"What's the something?" Game actually paused this time he looked up at her with new interest. His eyes followed downward as she seated herself on the floor. Her legs were delicately tucked under her body and she sat perfectly straight. 

"I found out something recently and I'm not sure if I should share it or say nothing."

"Well you can tell me. You know my secret so that makes you like my best bud. Except you're a girl so my best girl bud. Plus you made all this super cool stuff for me and I don't actually talk to anyone else so really you're my bestest girl bud!"

"Actually, I'm not a girl."

"Sorry bestest _ lady _ bud."

Janet didn't see the point in correcting him again. Instead she continued on the topic at hand. "I have no reason to tell anyone unless they requested the information so I don't know why I'm thinking about it."

"Sounds like you want to talk about it so consider yourself requested-ed."

She looked at him deliberating on so much more than other minds could. He was so simple yet complex in ways she didn't understand. That forgien concept of want nagged at her again. She was no longer simply making decisions rationally she was feeling for answers as well.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Samantha was yet again perched on the arm of her chosen chair in the sitting room. Saucer held in one hand, teacup in the other she sipped leisurely at her hot builder's tea. She loved listening to William's woes. It was her favorite part of the day seeing just how miserable he made himself. He also made a decent cuppa which was lovely in it's own right.

She was about to make a comment in reference to his mother, inocently bringing up that sore spot, when a buzz in her back pocket drew her attention.

It was from Michael. He had business outside town apparently and was asking her to keep an eye on things here. After setting down her beverage. Skilled thumbs typed out the response in no time.

_ I can do it, but you owe me. _

William watched her attention shift from him to the correspondence device she carried. "Is something wrong?"

"Everything is just fine Will no need for you to worry yourself." She smiled sweetly at him and he calmed drastically. "How about a night on the town to take your mind off all this drama?"

"That..." he pulled at the collar of his shirt that suddenly seemed much too close for comfort. "I think I would prefer to stay at home."

"Nonsense. Let's go for a drink at the pub."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Chidi said his goodbyes and closed the door behind him. The day out had been surprisingly nice. Relaxing, which somehow was something he wasn't doing much of here. He had no idea why Eleanor was so instant on his enjoyment. They were hardly more than acquaintances. Still she had concocted a lovely day between the two of them.

"Hi fish." He took a pinch of food and sprinkled it over the top of the water. The singular goldfish inside came rushing up to the surface. Bubbles popped up around where the little guy chomped at floating food. "I still have to figure out what to name you."

Outside the door of the second floor studio Eleanor realized she never managed to make her request. Holy cheese balls she was stupid. How did she get so distracted?

She turned around to find Janet standing right behind her. Bizarrely the brunette looked dazed. The lack of a smile Eleanor thought was especially unnerving.

"Janet what the fork! Where did you come from?"

"Eleanor." She said her name with an air of pointed delibrance. Her eyes closed as she did so. Almost as if she was summoning courage. "I have an answer for you." Eleanor had no idea what she was talking about but was transfixed by the odd behavior. Janet opened her eyes. They had a new intensity while she continued to speak. "Remember when you asked me what the Bad Place is like?"

"I do.” The chilling screams that came from the audio clip. She remembered the debilitating fear she felt in that moment. It was what made her seek out Buffy for protection. “The idea of a two headed bear still freaks me out sometimes."

"Well I have recently found a better answer. _ This _ is the Bad Place."

Eleanor was silent for a moment then suddenly broke into laughter. "You had me for a second there. Micheal ask you to try being funnier or something?"

"Michael did not make such a request of me. I am merely following up on your earlier question with newly discovered information."

"You don't actually mean that. I mean this can't be true."

"I would not mislead you with false information."

"Yeah and how do I know that? Answer is I don't." Eleanor was mad. Of course she was mad. Getting mad was her natural defense mechanism to anything she didn't like. She was still a little kid throwing temper tantrums. Eleanor didn't know it though, she didn't think about it. Never considered the deeper why. She just got mean. It felt better to hurt them before they hurt you.

"I don't believe you." She said it with an edge in her voice. Suspending disbelief was the only thing keeping her from exploding at the moment. So she said it again and again in her head. 

It isn't true. It isn't true. It isn't true. 

In way over her head Eleanor grabbed Janet by the arm and headed straight for the Slayer’s house.

Ten minutes later, Janet sat unmoving at a table on the second floor of Buffy's building. Her eyes were locked on something far away. Buffy herself was leaned against the wall near the door watching warily. "The Bad Place” Janet was saying quietly. “does that mean I am a Bad Janet?" Buffy didn't like hearing Janet think out loud. It felt very unnatural.

"She's been like this since I found her." The Slayer turned her head to Eleanor. The woman refused to sit down while she spoke. "She seems to think we are in the Bad Place for some reason." Buffy noted that Eleanor clearly wasn't unaffected by the news. "That can't be right because you're here." A hand shot in Buffy's direction. "And you've _ saved the world _. She has to be glitching."

Calmly thinking was supposed to get her through this type of situation. There had to be a reasonable explanation. Her brain would kick in and give her one any minute now... Wouldn't be long.

"Buffy is a mistake." Janet said without being asked. “Also” She looked at Eleanor with a momentary return to her normal self. “I can’t glitch. I’m not a robot.”

Buffy paused in her train of non-thoughts. "What?"

“I said I am not a robot and therefore don’t glitch.”

“No about the other thing. About me being a mistake.”

"You aren't meant to be here."

Well that was a twist. Just this morning they thought Eleanor was the one that was misplaced. Now they find it's really her.

"That's what The Good Place representative told Michael. Chosen ones are automatically granted entrance in exchange for their service." Janet made sure to lock Buffy's eyes. "Even slayers like Faith." 

"Oh, Faith was a Slayer." Though Eleanor was mostly talking to herself Buffy heard it all. "That explains a lot." 

Janet wasn't derailed. "Your placement here was based off of your point value pre-calling by accident. They are working out the terms of transfer right now."

With everything said Buffy hadn't moved. Her arms stayed crossed defensively over her chest in a posture that screamed Slayer and only whispered Buffy. When times were tough she would hide behind the supernaturally hard exterior. She thought she could anyway. She thought it would save her the pain of dealing. It still always tore through. There was always that piece of her being slowly eaten away. She was still human. Still a girl that had grown up way too fast. Still forced to keep on growing.

"Okay that's it. I need a drink." Eleanor threw up her arms in frustration and headed for the door. When she got there she stopped herself looking at the young woman leaning against the wall. "Well?" She asked. "You coming or what?"

Buffy focused again and looked to the other blonde at the door. Then she glanced back to the table. Janet had already disappeared. She sighed. "Yeah I'm with you."

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Back on Earth Spike found himself yet again staring down the bottom of a bottle. Five days gone. There wasn't enough booze in this town to drown his sorrows. He rolled over and fell right off the bed tangled with the sheets. Rubbing his head he grumbled aloud. "Bloody thing needs to stop moving while I sleep." He kicked the leg of his bed with a still booted foot. He noticed now that he was fully dressed, must have been the whole snooze. 

Not that he ever slept. A better definition would be that he blacked out for a few hours at a time. Sometimes it was when the sun was up, sometimes it was at night. He didn't rightly know anymore. His internal clock was all messed up. One of these days he'd open the door for a run to the duty free and find himself ashes in the daylight hours.

Did he really black out this time though? He didn't remember making it to bed but he remembered something. A dream maybe but it had all felt so real.

"Buffy." He gasped her name like gasping for air. As if he needed her to survive as much as the living need to breath. It wasn't far from the truth. She was his entire reason for existing. He payed no attention to his surroundings and instead ran to her side. He held a hand to her cheek. Warm soft skin met his palm. She was really there, not some drunken mirage. 

"And then you were yourself again, after yourself's decease." The ponce William's verse tumbled from his lips without warning. He thought himself better than quoting Shakespeare like a playhouse prat.

"Spike?" She was spooked, that was him. He was coming on too strong. Next thing he knew she'd be wiping the floor with him and he'd be powerless to stop it. But Gods she was here. She was really here. 

"Are you drunk?" That took him off guard. Yeah he'd been drinking but he didn't feel drunk in the slightest. He felt completely sober. "Oh my God you totally _ are _!"

"I'm not drunk slayer." But she didn't hear him.

"Eleanor look at this!" She spoke unnecessarily loud to the woman at the hightop where Buffy had been sitting. "William's not only out on the town but he's totally and completely wasted!"

She stumbled closer into him as she moved away from the table. Was Buffy drinking? He payed more attention and noticed her pink cheeks, heard her fluttering heart. Oh she was a sight to behold. He wanted to pick her up and take her away to be properly shagged as much as he wanted to sit down and match her drink for drink. Before his fantasies carried his mind off too far something sunk in. "Who're you calling William pet?

She hit him with a playful slap to his stomach. "You silly!" She smiled and laughed at him. "I'm calling William William. Heh that's funny. William William. William Williams. Willy William Willy Willy Williams." She was focused intently on a button of his shirt lost in the sound of his old name.

It was fuzzier after that. Buffy's friend pulled her away. Then there was another woman, blue hair was all he could remember. "Come on let's get you home." She said.

Was it real or was it a dream? Was Buffy really out there somewhere? She couldn't be. He saw her limp body at the bottom of the tower. He knew where she was buried. Visited her there after every sunset. It's just that it had felt so real.


	11. Chapter 11

He wanted to just forget. He wanted to go back to sleep or lose himself in a bottle again. Unfortunately that was not an option. Dawn needed watching today. He shuffled himself to the sewer entrance. This was why he was still here after all. Why he didn't run to Buffy where she lay broken under the sun. Why he didn't let himself hold her lifeless body for the last few seconds of his existence. An eternity in hell wouldn't be enough to make up for how he failed her.

So he couldn't fail her now.

It was dusk by the time he poked his head out on Revello Drive. Long shadows would be enough to make it to the door without burning. 

His skin was sizzling slightly when he closed the back door behind him. The sensation had always made him feel alive. Now it was twisted in with a guilt that he was and she wasn't.

"Dawn!" Instead of being greeted by the bit, Red came out from the dining room.

"Spike. You're early."

"Well I'm here ain't I?" She looked at him and looked at the door but said nothing. Spike knew what she was wondering. He should have needed an invitation. 'Cept Buffy invited him in during her last night with the living. She entrusted him with Dawn. His amazement at that didn't let him see it. Didn't let him notice the death wish painted over her features. Maybe if he had things would be different.

He saw it now. Saw it every goddamn night. He'd never forget it. She was determined as hell, no doubt, to save her sister. But he knew it. She went into that last fight fully expecting to die.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Fifteen feet to the door. Cobblestone marked the path under her boots. The distance was spectacular. How these few steps could feel like miles where before an entire town separated them. The Slayer shifted her weight between right and left hips. The situation an echo of her attempt only hours before. Now there was even more to discuss. She had to talk to him. 

Things had turned upside down so fast. Longing for help from a familiar face brought her here, standing out in front of William's home. She would give anything to trade him for Giles. It would feel so right to hear her watcher say he had to consult his books. Or something else spectacularly British.

Her feet moved without prompting. It was as if her thoughts had been the only thing holding them in place. Now that she wasn't thinking of why she didn't want to see him it was easier to reach his door. It was like that until she knocked. In that moment all the anxiety came rushing back.

The gentleman version of Spike opened the door before she could turn tail and run. His eyes were wide in a matter of seconds seeing her standing on his stoop.

"Um hey" She offered weakly. 

"Buffy I uh… wasn't expecting you."

"I wasn't expecting to make it here."

William shifted uneasily on his feet "did you need something?"

"I…" maybe she should have planned how to bring this up ahead of time. 'Guess what? We're in hell.' probably wasn't going to cut it. Then again if she thought about what to say when she got here she may not have made it this far. "Could I come in?"

"Oh yes right, come in." He stepped sideways and gestured for Buffy to enter.

"So this is your place huh?" It was homey, in an old English way. Willow would like it and Giles would feel right at home.

"Could I get you something? Tea maybe?"

"Water?"

"I can do that." The uneasiness between them settled slightly.

While he stepped away she looked around the room she was standing in. It was like stepping into a period drama. There was a loveseat sized couch, a table and two classy looking armchairs. Beside one of the chairs was another table. There was a leather bound notebook on it with a ballpoint pen on top of that. It struck her as kind of silly to see something so modern in a house styled so old.

In the small kitchen at the back William set about making tea anyway. He needed the few moments it took for the water to boil and leaves to steep. Why was she here and why now? 

With repetition he brought his breathing to an even rate. He never had been any good talking to women, made his heart unsteady. Knowing that this woman was his soulmate made it so much more difficult.

He pulled his kettle off the heat before it screamed and prepared the teapot with Wintergreen for himself. While that started to steep he pulled out a glass for Buffy and filled it with ice from his personal refrigeration system. He still marveled at the convenience of the device sometimes. He briefly considered bringing out biscuits before he put her water and two cups on a tray with the teapot. Just in case she change her mind. Then he set back out to the sitting room feeling no more prepared. At least he had tea.

Buffy idly thumbed through a book on the loveseat. She wanted to look in the notebook but was afraid it might be a journal. Though curious, she didn't really want to know much about Spike's past. If anything she wanted to know what William had done since coming here. At least that was something that wasn't shared with the vampire.

When human William entered the room she quickly flipped the book over and stood. He set a tray of tea down and handed her a water glass. Condensation wet her fingers when she took it. They were both feeling nervous but for very different reasons. He was trying to figure out a way to apologize. She was trying to build up the courage to say goodbye.

Her insides were being ripped up. She didn't want to say goodbye. It seemed so unfair that someone so kind and genuine wouldn't make the cut for the Good Place. He was a nervous wreck sure but so were Willow and Xander when she met them. They had their faults but surely they had to be good enough. She’d have to ask Janet. 

Janet. 

Would there be another Janet where she was going? Would it be the same interacting with her or were Janet's inherently different from each other?

“I see you were reading my book.” William pointed to the overturned paperback on the seat.

Buffy had to look at it for a moment before she remembered. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“It’s quite alright really, I’m happy to see you make yourself at home.” He gestured to the seat again. “I’m sure you’d rather sit than stand talking like this.”

“Right yes, sitting is good.” She plopped heavy back down into the couch. He slowly seated himself in the chair across from her. Watching.

It felt like forever before he spoke. “Ever read it before?” He nodded at the book.

“No I haven’t, it looks interesting.” Honestly she couldn't even remember the title. Still this was nice, talking about something that didn’t matter. It felt almost normal. Like she wasn’t going to disappear in the next few days. Probably without even remembering her time here if what Janet said was true.

"I highly recommend it.” He took a sip of his tea before speaking again. Both his hands were cupped around the dish. “What genre do you like the best?"

"The best?" His attention flickered between her and the hot drink in obvious nervousness. "You mean in books?" He gave the gentlest nod she had ever witnessed. "I'm really more of a TV and flicks chick."

He raised one of his two unscathed eyebrows as she answered. How did Spike get that scar anyway? And was it weird that seeing the same face without she kind of missed it? It added this rugged level of handsomeness and- No no no she was not going there. That version of this guy was a monster and she needed to somehow make a clear division between the two. Wouldn’t really matter soon though. Man this was depressing.

"Buffy love?"

Huh? Oh not again. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

He had set down his tea while she was lost in thought. "I, uh." He straightened the cuff of his shirt in a way that was probably a nervous tick more than anything else. With a cough he cleared his throat. Then somehow he looked up into her eyes. Their heads were at the same height sitting like this. It shouldn't have been possible. "What is a flick?"

She couldn't help but giggle at that. It was a real laugh that filled her up with a happiness she had not felt in some time. 

With everything on her shoulders the past however many months before she died. With everything new on her shoulders in the afterlife. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so unburdened. He seemed to bring it out in her.

William had lost all the color in his face by the time she opened her eyes and looked at him again. The lightness she was feeling turned to lead in the pit of her stomach. He thought she was making fun of him… again.

"I didn't mean to laugh at you." But she had so many other times. How often was Spike the butt of her jokes or Xander's. All the times he lost his swagger, bristled up or lost his temper. This was what he was shielding himself from. Shielding himself from the world seeing in him.

Stop it Buffy. William and Spike just have the same body they aren't the same person. "Sorry. I just forgot that you are from the 18th century or whatever."

"19th actually."

Wow she was bad at this. "Right, sorry again." She paused and a thought came to her. "There is exactly my point. You're talking to a girl who just came from the new millennia. I don't know anything about you, or the way you think."

"And television has been around for your entire life." He finished for her. "You bring up a consideration I took for granted. I should try not to take it personally."

"Exactly!" She said, pleased with herself and him for understanding her. "Wait. I said TV, not television."

"Yes, but TV is a shortening for television. Is it not? And flick, that must mean something else. Film perhaps?"

"Well yeah, movies film. Same difference. But how do you know that?"

His eyes brightened as a smile made its way to his features yet again. He never stopped paralyzing her with the depth of joy he was able to convey so quickly. “Can I show you something?”

She agreed and the two of them stood. He was adorable when he clasped her hand in his own to walk with her. Almost like a middle schooler who thought it was the most intimate thing ever to just be touching. Maybe it was to him.

No words passed between them as he guided her outside his home. He walked swiftly but not so fast that she needed to run to match his longer stride. It was considerate of him. Yet another reason why she didn’t understand what he was doing here. Every couple of feet he looked over his shoulder to check on her. As if she could just vanish while he was holding her hand. What was all this childness about anyway? Weren't old British all about being proprietary and repression and other stuffy stuff? Then again, the only Brits she knew before now were watchers like Mr. Travers or Westley, and they made  _ Giles _ look cool.

They stopped momentarily outside a stone building and he dropped her hand. When she realized that it was to hold the door open for her she thanked him politely and stepped inside. Her eyes adjusted to the low light quicker than she would have expected. As soon as they did her mouth dropped open. The two of them had stepped inside a massive library. It was larger than even the library of UC Sunnydale. “Wow this is huge!”

Immediately her hand drew up to her mouth realizing what she had done. “Sorry” She offered meekly in a whisper. “I forgot that you are supposed to be quiet in libraries.” Surprisingly he laughed at her. “Hey, that’s not fair.” But she was smiling too. He was starting to relax around her.

“You looked so frightened.” He smiled naturally which made her stomach do a little flip. “I suppose now we are even.”

“Hardly” she muttered lightheartedly.

“Come on it’s this way.” He took her hand again and the two set off.

They cut through several rows of shelves that only seemed to grow more dingey and simple as they went. There was a light they were heading towards. Brighter at least then where they were coming from. Eventually the two emerged out the other side. 

She suddenly felt as winded as she had been when smacked with Olaf's troll hammer. 

It was the library. _The_ _library._ As in the one that harbored her own personal Hellmouth. A Hellmouth which tried to kill her three years running. 

Hold up, four years. Those bumpy blue valhalla or whatever, demons had almost called on Armageddon no thanks to certain muzzled vampire's sudden ability to beat things up again.

William was studying her closely, she realized. He very clearly had expected her to be happier by the reminder of home. This wasn't what she wanted from heaven though. The literal door to hell itself didn't belong in heaven. Or the  _ Good place, _ whatever. She would probably be messing that up for the rest of her afterlife. 

But then again this wasn’t the Good Place. She had almost let it slip her mind. This was the Bad Place. In that case this was fitting. Nothing like the threat of being swallowed up by the very ground to make a girl feel right at home.

To his protest she dropped the hand holding hers and left her soulmate's side. Immediately she went to Giles's counter. She hopped it easily with one hand used to brace against as her legs swept up and over. Disappearing behind it she quickly found the extra keys her watcher hid back there. He had been furious the first time she broke the lock needing weaponry while he wasn't around. Ever since, he left keys for her. She came back around the normal way while flipping through the ring trying to find the right one. There.

William watched her wordlessly. Whatever reaction he expected of her it hadn't been this. She crossed the room, then opened up and stepped behind the painted metal gate. He had noticed it before but never thought much of it. He figured it wasn't his business to go behind. After all, it had been locked and this was  _ her  _ section in the library.

Cautiously he started over to where she was rummaging through things. He made his way behind her just as she was flipping down the back of her shirt over something tucked into her waistband. 

He looked away quickly but was unable to smother the blush that rose with his embarrassment at catching sight of her exposed skin.

"Sorry." She said almost too quick. "Security blanket of sorts."

"Quite alright I suppose." He was still flustered. "Just taken a bit off guard."

"Sooo." She was trying to figure out something to change the subject and she still had to figure out a way to tell him the news. "Wanna get frozen yogurt?"

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Credits rolled on the telly in beat with the music of the closing scene. He could care less about the movie but the bit had fallen asleep on top of him. That there was enough to make him content. 

Her warmth had long since seeped through his clothes to permeate his skin. Pig's blood didn't heat him like fresh human did but giving that up meant he could be here now. Warm in a way he didn't use to think possible.

He liked to think himself the big bad. Helped him cope with the chip. Still he'd give it all up in one of her tiny heartbeats if his nibblet asked. She looked so calm in his lap. All the loss wasn't seeping into her dreams with her vampire here to keep her safe. And he would. Keep her safe that is. He would die before he let her be hurt again. 

He took a hand and shifted the hair that had draped over her face. She stirred with the movement but didn't wake. He whispered in turn: "Love you little bit."


	12. Chapter 12

Michael couldn't manage to stay frustrated. He hated this situation, that one of his humans was being taken away from him. But this place was just so nice. His imitation was peanuts beside it.

The waiting room he was left in had one of those antimatter cup makers with the tiny pods. He had been just so excited at using the human invention that he made twenty mugs of all different flavors before taking a sip of any. His only disappointment was that the pods seemed to degrade after use. Leave it to angels to wreck the whole evil point.

That forgettable fellow showed him here and then left quickly. He was saying he had to go file arrival paperwork or something. When the two set off he was not terribly comfortable with the idea of visiting the good place. Now that he was here he never wanted to leave. Being so enraptured he wasn't sure anymore how long he had been since Larry left.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Tahani followed behind Eleanor from a safe distance. It had been days since her soulmate spent time with her and she couldn't understand why. Today was the day she would get to the bottom of it. She followed the woman from her home into town. They passed all the usual hangouts. There was the Bubble Tea Palace Bistro where they first met. The Not So Dairy Fairy almond based frozen yogurt stand where they had their first date. The literal fountain of soda where she asked Eleanor to move into one of her guest bedrooms. She rembered fondly. They had been sitting at the edge of Mountain Lion. It was a sillily named Mountain Dew knock of brand. Eleanor must have refilled her cup at least seven times.

She viewed each reminder of their relationship with reverence while her blonde beauty walked by each location without a passing glance. A week ago she hardly cared about their soulmate status beyond appearances. More time alone just made Tahani think about that one kiss they shared. Nothing mattered then. It wasn't about her name or her status or her friends. It was all just them, and only because she asked.

"Where are you going?" Tahani whispered the question under her breath.

Eventually Eleanor turned down a residential side street. Instead of following Tahani peaked out from cover of a nearby building. She watched as Eleanor climbed up to the second floor and knocked on the door. A man met her there and cheerfully ushered her inside. Her heart stopped.

"Tahani sweetheart! Fancy running into you so early in the morning."

A dread worse than learning her soulmate was cheating on her came with that upbeat voice. With all the energy she could muster she faced the blue haired menace with a hopefully not visibly pained smile. 

"Samantha! How lovely it is to see you."

It was not at all lovely to see her. She looked atrocious by the guidelines of her own refined tastes. A floral patterned bright orange ribbon was tied in a bow at the top of her head. It kept her unnaturally colored locks off of her face. The intensity of color contrast was hard on her eyes. Around her neck was a hand fashioned necklace of the same fabric. There were five marbles under the orange separated by white beads over top. It very well could have been made by a child. Her sleeveless shirt was black along with her pants but the two were broken up by a blue cardigan tied around her waist.

Her unfortunate neighbor made a pitiful face while they aprased each other. "Your color seems a little off Tahny."

Tahani's hand immediately reached up to her face, hoping she hadn't managed to ruin her foundation this morning in the rush.

"Maybe I caught you at a bad time." Samantha thought aloud. "Am I interrupting you?"

"No, neve-" Tahani jumped to deny it and then suddenly decided why not? She didn't want to deal with the woman and this was as good as any excuse. "Well actually yes. I had somewhere to be."

"Following Eleanor you mean?" Carp. "Jealousy creeping in?" There was an all too knowing smile over her face. "I bet that's what I saw. Little tinge of green in the cheeks and around the eyes. Not great for wrinkles." A slight tisk and her smile came back. "Don't worry Tahani. Jealousy like this is just part of being a Cancer."

"Did you just call me cancer?"

"Sure did, it's so obviously you. I have a gift of guessing astrological signs." Tahani relaxed knowing now that she wasn't being called a tumor. "Thought you might be a Leo at first but it goes deeper than that surface scream for attention doesn't it?"

"I'm not screaming for anything, I'll have you know. Was never one to put much stock in the mystic. Cosmopolitan magazine may have referenced it in my one time interview. I may not remember my sign though I am quite sure it was not that."

"No believe me. You are totally a Cancer. I can just tell. Anyway relax a bit. You can wait out the whole jealousy ordeal in no time. Well unless there is an actual reason to be jealous but I'm sure you're fine. Eleanor seems like a good match for you despite the whole Aries deal."

They were stuck in similar uncomfortable conversation for over an hour. When they seperated,Samantha  walked away saited. She was in a wonderful mood. Getting in a morning torture session was so much better than coffee. Her mere existence made that prissy bench squirm. It was absolutely delicious. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Hi, Michael?"

"Yes?" He turned around with another pod of antimatter in his hand. This one was half positron hazelnut. He shouldn't have been shocked when he saw who spoke to him. However, expectations and reality often differ greatly. "Janet."

"Yes. Specifically, I am Janet 2043B. Very nice to meet you Michael."

They looked identical. Every detail. The gentle smile, the rounded nose. Even her brown eyes looked the same. It was what worked behind them that was different. There was no recognition, no subtle comradery. This was not his Janet.

"We apologise for the wait. You've been granted an audience with the first slayer. I'll be your translator for the visit."

She opened the door behind her and held it to the side for him. Beyond it was a vast desert. He did not let go of the antimatter in his palm. Instead he pocketed it as a souvenir of his trip. The sunny scenery had him bracing for scorching heat. Yet as his shoes settled on uneven sand he experienced no discomfort. The air moved pleasantly around his human mein neither hot nor cold. 

Janet lightly closed the door and stepped beside him. She did not move beyond that action. He glanced behind them to where they had entered. There was no door there. He expected there wouldn't be until he had finished his audience. All there was in every direction was sun bleached sand. It stretched all the way out to the horizon where it greeted the piercing blue sky.

He turned back and waited. After a few minutes he posed a question to his guide. "Where is she?"

"Coming."

"Any idea how long she will take?"

"No." 

One word answers. This Janet wasn't one for conversation it seemed. He longed to return to that tiny town he built. At the very least he wanted back in the waiting area. The more time he stood waiting in the open desert the less at ease he felt. Whispers seemed to carry on the wind. All women's voices. A few of the more prominent were mature but most were the voices of children. They still maintained that unmistakable youthful sharpness.

After several hours waiting Michael sat in the sand. It was warm to the touch not burning. He was bored and wanted to leave. Unfortunately, all he was able to do was wait.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

  
  


Buffy was walking the well worn path between her place and William's another time. By now she could probably trace the route in her sleep. 

She and him had been spending more time together since he shared with her his hideaway. They would meet, talk for a bit until things grew awkward and either she would leave or he would. It never felt like the right time to tell him. It seemed too cruel to inform him he didn't reach the bar for heaven. At night she would meet with Eleanor who was having similar luck for different reasons. All of her relationships seemed to have smoothed around the edges.

She was earlier than usual today. An extra hit determination emboldened her during her daily workout. Today she was going to come out and tell William what was going on. 

Only she faltered when his home came into sight. A woman she didn't recognize was coming her way down the path.

"Hi there Buffy!" The vibrantly dressed woman waved and beamed a huge smile in her direction. What should have been a disarming reaction had the opposite effect on her. A shiver ran through her body causing each and every one of her nerves to tingle unpleasantly. The feeling only became worse as the woman approached.

"Who are you?" Buffy's short temper and forgotten manners seemed not to faze the stranger in the slightest.

"Well I'm going by Samantha at the moment." She smiled but something sinister seeped into it. "You though, just you. Could call me the patron saint of vampires."

She grimaced at this self proclaimed saint. "What is that supposed to be? Some kind of joke?"

"It isn't a joke. All souls that chose to be vampires are mine. You knew something was off about me the moment we laid eyes on each other. No reason for me to lie about it now."

"You're telling me that William,  _ this _ kind hearted William,  _ chose _ to turn into a monster?"

"Silly details as to understanding what it means are insignificant. Those souls are mine as soon as they let it happen. Your precious little William agreed to eternity."

Buffy was speechless and Samantha didn't wait for her to catch up. She reveled in telling Buffy the scope of it. Being as violence isn't permitted she could say whatever she wanted and Buffy could do nothing. Unknown to her, Buffy's fingers tickled against the library stake anyway.

"It was my idea to match you off with your little Spikey." She looked up dreamily. "A man so lost in rejection he gave up his life paired forever with a girl too scared to commit." She looked back into Buffy's eyes resuming her gleeful expression. "It's perfect torture." Her sweet smile was a drastic juxtaposition to her words. "It made things even better that you already knew him."

"I didn't know William, I knew Spike."

"You just keep telling yourself that sweets." 

Samantha winked before sashaying past her. She could care less about how much she shared. Buffy watched her go caught up in everything she said. Maybe it was good she didn't belong here. The situation just kept getting worse and worse. Her fists tightened by her side instinctually. No. She wasn't one to give up without fighting.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It takes a lot to make someone as old as Micheal impatient. Waiting for what may have been eternity twice over, he was near there. He laid back and stared into the cloudless sky. The blue had an intensity that stretched on forever. It was gazing like this, that he realized there was no sun. The entire sky seemed to give off light. There was nothing tracing across the empty space. No marker of time in this place. He sat up and looked to the faux Janet facing straight ahead. She had not once moved.

"How long will it be until night?" He asked.

Only her head turned to look at him. "There is no night in the resting place of fallen Slayers."

No night, no sun. 

'The Slayer is the sun.'

An accent peppered his ear. He placed it, best he could, as Australian. Her voice was melodic and enchanting. One of the wisps spoke to him. For some time he searched the wind for that same voice. It took hours but he distinguished the sound twice more. It seemed to be that of an amateur poet as well as Slayer. 

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Eleanor sat at the table saying nothing. Tahani was talking up a storm with yet another impossible story. No matter how gorgeous she was listening to her talk so much was literal torture. Chidi however sat across from Tahani eyes wide as he took in all the unbelievable information. He had his hands wrapped possessively around a glass fishbowl. Wouldn't put it down since she told him the truth about this place. The goldfish inside swam without any hint of the anxiety of its owner.

"...and that was when I told Calvin that he just  _ had _ to work with Martha. So we invited her over and laughed as I introduced her to the Dogg himself."

"And by Dogg you mean?"

"Snoop of course. Who else would I mean?" She really did look put off by the idea she could mean anyone else but only for a second before it passed. "I had thought that it would be a one time deal but they really just hit it off. Who would've thought that people would love the dynamic duo so much?" She stopped for a moment raising her hand to her heart and dramatically releasing a shortly held breath. "Oh I just love seeing people so happy with the things I've done for them."

Eleanor couldn't take it anymore. "So your first and only experience with weed led to a TV show fad about the munchies?"

"Oh don't say 'fad'" she scolded. "It makes it all sound so pedestrian. Think of it as a..." She paused but for drama of it or to actually think Eleanor wasn't sure. "...transient passion." If there were any doubts her soulmate could be more over the top she lost them with those last two words shared.

Their conversation was cut short as Buffy stormed into her house slamming every door in her path. When she burst into the room Eleanor could clearly see how angry she was. "That's it! I'm taking this place down if it's the last thing I do!"

Her walk back here to meet Eleanor was enough to bring her rage to a boil. Samantha was messing with her and she couldn't stand for it. All of this emotional turmoil was why it didn't register that there were more people in the room until now. Eleanor looked at her with a concerned expression while the man at the table looked terrified. 

But it was the third person whose face was most concerning. Tahani didn't know.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Time passed both quickly and slow. Michael could only assume that it had been hours, likely it had been longer. His own sense of time was drastically shaken. This realm was the dot above the i. Neverending. Tuesdays were always his least favorite day for that same reason.

His only company was not Janet but by the Slayers. There were thousands of voices. When he closed his eyes the sound focused. It allowed him to listen to each individually. Some spoke of family and loved ones. Others sang or hummed. There were voices only made of grunts and shouts. As if he were hearing battles as they played out.

If he kept his eyes open long enough mirages would form. He could see the young women performing various activities. There were those that danced and those that ran. Some who sat writing or painting, others that grew beautiful gardens of the golden landscape. At times they would react to his presence but mostly they ignored him.

Each woman or girl was as different in stature and appearance as they were different in interests. Though odd, there was even the occasional Slayer that expressed as a boy. It was more than a simple choice of clothing and haircut. These phantoms were not representative of appearance in life. They were the appearance that child's soul. There was no hiding when it came to that. Everyone was as they should be. 

The only trait that they all shared was the comfort clear on their faces. This was their good place. He had known it rationally when he left. Seeing it was something altogether different. He not only knew it now. He understood it.


	13. Chapter 13

"Tahani." Buffy gulped. "Hi. What uh… what a nice surprise. And uh… you." She loosely motioned at the strange man with his extremely out of place aquatic pet. "Whoever you are."

"Chidi Anagone." He shifted the fishbowl to free one hand for an akward handshake. "I studied the philosophy of moral ethics before I died. Eleanor thought I could help."

"Right." She glanced back to the only person she had been expecting in her home. "Eleanor do you think I could talk to you alone for a minute?"

"Oh for the love of-" Eleanor rolled her eyes at the childishness. "No." She said rudely. Caught off guard Buffy's eyes widened dramatically. The older blonde turned to her soulmate and locked her big brown eyes in her own. Tahani's eyes were as large as Buffy's since none of this was making sense to her. 

"This isn't the Good Place." Eleanor didn't attempt to soften the statement's impact. "So you can stop trying to impress everybody already. We are all bad people here apparently." She faltered for a second.

"It's true." Chidi added in the break. "I regularly used almond milk in my coffee despite knowing the ethical and environmental ramifications."

All three of them turned to stare at the lone man in the room. "Bad people to different degrees she amended. Everyone except superhero Buffy here." Dramatically she threw her head back. "Who is  _ apparently _ too good to even let the Bad Place exist." She whipped back towards the Slayer. "Did I seriously hear that right? We haven't even figured out how to protect  _ ourselves _ yet!" 

Buffy was shocked by the outburst but didn't let it hold her back. "It wouldn't be the first time I took down a hell dimension." The comment was as much to reassure herself as to rationalize the sentiment. "There was this one time in LA-"

"Oh don't you get started now! I just had to listen to Tahani go on about the different TV shows she had her hands in starting." Eleanor was standing and gesturing wildly. Clearly past her ability to deal. Buffy and Chidi were too focused on Eleanor's expressiveness to notice Tahani flinch at the words about her.

"There are multiple hell dimensions?" Chidi asked in the silence that followed. He could barely contain his interest. "Do they all work on a frame of morality?"

Eleanor flopped back in her seat with a huff ignored by all except her soulmate. Tahani wanted to cringe but maintained composure. The last thing she wanted was to draw attention. For once.

"From what I've seen it's more of a wrong place wrong time deal but, maybe?" Not having a suitable answer Buffy shrugged. "I don't tend to stop and ask about the how and why. I'm on a stake first ask questions later policy. Saves more lives in my experience."

Chidi theorized as if none of them were there. "I'm very curious as to the different rules guiding each version. Like, do they lean towards the theories of consequentialism or virtue ethics? For that matter are they all altruistic?" His goldfish was set down on the table as he became more animated. "I can see a working utilitarian version but punishing a person for not practicing egotism feels counterproductive to the point."

The rest eventually continued their discussion over the professor's ramblings.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

"Why in the forking buttercup spruce did I say that?!" Samantha paced around her persona's foyer fuming at herself. She only felt angrier with the realization that even demonic curses were censored. "Really Michael?" She shouted into the air. "Humans ears wouldn't even be able to pick up half the sounds let alone understand it as swearing!"

She stopped in the middle of the room and held her head her middle and index fingers made circles at her temples. Papers, trinkets, coats and shoes had started throwing themselves to the floor and making a mess. The wallpaper grew old and grayed cracking at the edges. Like a rubber band suddenly it snapped to a scene before the room was decorated. A phantom image of Janet applying different styles.

Samantha was too upset. As a multidimensional being it could affect things around her. Micheal was much the same. His stress often would manifest itself in a bowtie that wouldn't stay tied or was perpetually crooked. The papers sometimes scattered over his desk have nothing to do with the amount of work. Demons use electronic systems which float in the very air around them. They have no need for paper. Far ahead of humans in that regard.

Being beasts of several dimensions the physical realm of merely three mattered very little. In fact, greater demons seldom physically add to any clutter. Their clutter was entirely emotionally induced.

Since Samantha was a demon of emotion, her moods were that much more violent. Humans can easily recognize them. They might call her a poltergeist. The title wouldn't be entirely wrong. It would however, be misleading. Poltergeists are lesser demons. Like vampires, they were once human. They too became something more upon death.

Samantha could not be compared to them. She had been a greater demon since conception. She also had much more power than any common ghost or bloodfiend. Not magical power, she was no witch, innate ability. Power hers and hers alone. More frustrating than her drunken mistake was being stuck in a human suit that hampered said power.

Finally she took her hands from her head. The room was back to how it was when she entered. A place for everything and everything in its place.

It settled back that way as soon as she remembered a detail that might help her. There was no time wasted flipping out her cellphone. She didn't really need the human device to communicate with Michael, or anyone else for that matter. They were just both a bit eccentric.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Janet appeared in front of the massive New Brutalist house when summoned. A moment ago she had been trying a cheese puff at one of Jason's many requests. It was assumed by most that she spent free time in her void. She had instead been visiting the Floridian. He was strange and she wanted to understand him.

Samantha closed the door behind her stepping into the sun. Her impractically tall and sharp heels clacked against concrete slabs marking the path.

"Walk with me Janet?" She knew she needn't request it as Janet already started moving with her. Instead, she continued to her first real question. "Can you tell me when Micheal will be coming back? He isn't replying to any of my messages."

"I'm afraid I have no information access to the systems at his current location."

"Pity." Samantha's personality was easy for Janet to understand. There was a high probability the demon gathered life sustaining nutrients from the torment of others. She also enjoyed the act quite readily. Ocassionally Janet noted symptoms similar to intoxication afterwards.

Janet was aware now that she was working with the Bad Place. She accepted it, strange though it was. It did explain why more than half the town's population was demonic.

"How about the humans. Where are they right now?"

"William has retired to his study, writing. The remainder are speaking within a miscellaneous room at Buffy's."

"What all of them?"

"The three of them." She corrected. "Jiyanu is currently resting in his home." Janet surprised herself at the ease by which she could lie. She did not want Samantha to take interest in Jason. The desire was remarkably selfish but she had whet her palette for learning and Jason was still many things she did not know.

"I don't like that." Samantha replied "I was a bit impulsive earlier." It was her own fault. Eating too much made her cocky and stupid. After Tahani in the morning she should have waited to go see William as well. "Buffy should have her medical issue seen to sooner rather than later. I want you to see to that."

Janet knew as well as she did that nothing could be done now. It was likely why Samantha asked after Micheal first thing. Only he had the power to reset a human's memories in town. Samantha was at best an assistant to him. She carried no real power. Likewise Janet felt no need to heed her requests. Her duty was to Michael and the humans. Something she had only recently realized but planned on using to her full advantage.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Michael was calmly listening to a phantom piano duet when Janet 2043B finally spoke. "She has arrived."

He bolted upright and jumped to his feet. Still he could see nothing.

"You have misplaced something dear to me demon." The voice was Janet's but it did not come from her mouth. He snapped around to a figure unlike the others he had watched for so long. She was entirely solid. Were he brave enough to, he could reach out and touch her deeply pigmented skin. Her face and shoulders were marked with white patterns. The rest of her was wild.

"So I've heard. I came here once I learned as much." His words came slowly and carefully weighted. He wanted to address her in some way yet every title was unfitting. 

"A fellow sister and child who deserves her rest." The First Slayer was crouched and ever moving, studying him like a predator. Her head tilted appraisingly while Janet's voice emanated from her location.

"That's why I'm here. To fix this misunderstanding. We need to figure out where she belongs."

"You say you wish to fix it yet she is not with you. Here is where she belongs." She increasing looked as if she were stalking him. As a demon it was very unsettling. Despite both being servants of greater powers, he was still very much her prey. Most Slayers were of no consequence to a demon of his level. The First Slayer was different. She was a force to be reckoned with.

Michael wasn't sure how to respond. He was taken off guard by this entire trip. It had not occurred to him that Buffy might join him. He wasn't even sure he could release her without Shawn's approval. "Why isn't this going through the Judge? Why come straight to me?"

"There is no gray here for a demon to exploit. She died in her duty not once but twice yet you take her under where she does not belong." 

"I know the story." It was men who made the First Slayer, they stole the essence of a demon and corrupted it to work against its kind. That power belonged with him and the other demons. It was not for humans to play with. All creatures like him knew the story.

Pain cracked open his forehead and ricocheted through his insides. It was memory of the binding flashing in his head. He could feel it as a more innocent version of the woman before him was forced to the ground. He understood who she was like she were himself. Sineya was made to swallow poisons and intake a dark spirit. It was not whole. This was a black wisp, a demon twisted between dimensions. Worse than retired. It too was in agony. Sreams tore at his ears. He could feel his own throat cracking as hers did in the past. 

"You only assume to know." Sineya paused only for a second. Not long enough for him to recover, let alone offer a rebuttal. "Under your thumb she will be called for a third time."

"She can't be called again." His head still pounded so he held it one handed. "Her body and spirit are separated. No one returns from that."

"Perhaps. Perhaps things are changing. Bring her to us." She ordered. "Let her claim her gift before it is too late."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Buffy" Eleanor sighed after both Chidi and Tahani had left. "How are we supposed to take down this place? Did you even have an idea or is this all grandstanding?"

"I-" Buffy was stumbling to figure out an answer when they suddenly had another figure crowding the room.

"She doesn't." Janet answered for the Slayer. "But I do."


	14. Chapter 14

William trembled in his boots standing at Buffy's doorstep. The object of his affections had not visited him in a few days. He was concerned she may have given up on his case entirely. 

It was the smile he remembered on her face last they were together that gave him confidence to leave his home. He bade himself steady with the reminder that bravery is not the absence of fear but rather the act of overcoming it.

He raised his right hand to rap on the door. His left was busy anxiously causing creases in the parchment clutched at his side. There was shuffling behind the door so he braced himself. The sound stopped without being granted entrance.

His heart fluttered nervously. Would she not open for him? He tried not to look when he saw curtain movement in the window out of the corner of his eye. There was a click from the handle and then more shuffling. Then again another click sounded.

William didn't think he could take this anymore. Were he not already dead he may have died of emotional overexertion. He heard the door begin to creep open and released a silent breath. 

It stopped open only a smidgen. 

"Hello?" William's only thought was that this voice was not Buffy's.

"Hello." He returned nervously to the gentleman peeking out from behind the door. "Is this not the home of Buffy Anne Summers?"

"It is. Who are you?"

"William Pratt, her-" He coughed giving him time to ease himself. "Her soulmate."

"Oh ok, you can probably come in." The man hesitated but opened the door the rest of the way. William finally recognized him,  _ Mr. Anagone. _

The ache he felt tunneled through into his marrow. To have someone he once thought of as a possible friend look at him like a stranger. He really was  _ so _ forgettable.

They stepped deeper into the residence. Chidi closing and locking the door behind them.

"Do you know?" His faux friend asked.

Since William could speak both French and English he heard both. The fact hadn't registered for him at the door. Now however, his dual hearing afforded him extra information. Chidi asked him 'Connaissez-vous?'. Connaître, not savoir. Two verbs 'to know' both with their different contextual meanings.

Literally he said 'are you familiar?' William thought, at first, he might have meant with Buffy. Something about Chidi's posture made him think otherwise. Whatever it was, was a secret. 

'Do you know the secret?' 'Do you know what's going on?' This was what he was really asking. 

It frightened William that he didn't. "Je n'en sais rein." (I don't know anything about it.)

"Oh." Chidi looked in that moment as if he regretted opening the door. "I should probably bring her down."

"If you would please." William tried not to let the anxiety of not understanding the situation show.

Chidi was still mumbling under his breath as he bounded up the stairwell. Something about not taking proper time to assess his options.

The gorgeous woman he was here for appeared on the stairs a few minutes later. "Come up here William, I have a nicer place to sit down."

He followed her without question. When she showed him to her drawing room he handed her the parchment in his hand sans preamble.

"What's this?" She asked confused.

"From me to you." He managed to say. "Read it please."

Buffy took the paper and smiled as she did as asked. It was a warm feeling he wasn't used to. Having someone appreciate his poetry was spectacular. He should have read it aloud but his nerves as they were hardly let him pass it along. He knew each and every word as it was written and played it in his mind as she read.

_ Beauty unadulterated by mortal bounds _

_ Strength beyond human understanding _

_ An angel blessed to rise above _

_ Glory forever kept withstanding _

_ Tis the fault of mine my love _

_ You ever felt the chill of lone _

_ I carry the ache to accompany _

_ Harbored deep within my bone _

_ The time before I knew you _

_ My life itself a story _

_ False torches for false loves _

_ Might as well been purgatory _

_ It could only be you my dear _

_ For the hole inside my heart _

_ I treasure you in all you are _

_ Death cannae hold us apart _

When her eyes stopped following the words the smile faltered. He assumed the slip must have been imagined because it was there the next moment as she looked up into his eyes.

"This is wonderful, thank you. No one has ever written me poetry before."

"Mere words can't do you justice." Her smile was infectious. Being around her made him feel wonderful. He wanted to keep her by him all the time so that he never had to stop feeling it.

"William." The ease in her expression made way for uncertainty. "There is something you should know." She hesitated and seemingly changed gears mid thought. Her brow furrowed. "What do you really know about me?"

It caught him unawares. "I know my feelings. I would not presume to know more."

She looked again at the paper. "Do you feel this way because you were told we were soulmates?"

"Possibly." He said with an unsteady voice. It wasn't anything he had considered before. "I suppose it might be that way. Though I could hardly see being so enraptured without your personhood as is."

"How do you know?" She lurched on. "How do you know that I'm not just convenient? The 'hole inside your heart.' Someone just here to fill that missing thing in your life?"

"I…" He fumbled over words, ungentlemanly sputtering to say something. "Was the poem no good?" He finally asked. "Too much too soon?" Samantha had told him as much. He'd never had success in wooing a woman. Maybe he should have heeded her words more closely. Kept his distance and let her lead.

Buffy continued as if he never answered. "How do I know?" She was almost frantic and it terrified him. "How do I know Spike?"

Who? But he didn't ask. His words were no longer his own. He took her hand in his and felt her pulse slow in his grip. Only he hadn't been the one to take it. He was watching himself like a passenger in his own body. "You have my word."

"And what makes that worth anything?" She didn't seem angry anymore. Just overwhelmed.

"I've never lied to you love." The words tumbled from his mouth of their own volition.

"But I've been so stupid. Some guy comes along and tells us we are soulmates and we just believe him? How do we know anything he says is true? Why do we blindly believe this is heaven?"

And then he did something that made him think he had truly gone insane. He wrapped his arms around her and dragged her body till it pressed against his. He let his head rest over top of hers. Loose hair tickled his nose with each breath. 

"We don't know." His voice went on to say. "We can only take each day as it comes." 

They clung to each other in silence for awhile.

"I miss them all." She said quietly against his breast.

"I know." These words felt more his own. He did not know much of who she missed but he knew what it was like to miss someone. He missed his mother fiercely.

She pulled away and immediately he was saddened by the loss of contact. There was no time to contemplate the meaning because she quickly grabbed his face and pulled him down into a kiss. His first kiss.

He was still caught in the high of it as her lips drew back. "Thank you." The two words intimately brushed against his mouth. She gave him a parting peck and let go. He tried to chase her lips for a moment before stopping himself.

His heart was pounding and he had to catch his breath. Once he did, he was fully seated in his body again. Her kiss a remarkably grounding experience.

"Buffy." He said when his voice once again obeyed him. "What brought all this on?"

"The truth did." She admitted somberly. "This isn't the Good Place William. This is hell." 

Hell. He could hardly consider her kiss hell. Sin perhaps, but never hell.

She continued and he forced himself to focus on her words rather than the shape made by her mouth when she spoke them. "This is where I showed up accidentally and you got stuck unfairly. Not even because of you, but of the monster you turn out to be."

"The monster?"

"After you die." She answered, though he would bet she had not wanted to. "You become what I'm supposed to kill. You become a vampire."

He saw the far away look in her eyes. "You met me before, did you? The monster version?"

Buffy nodded. "You were trying to kill me."

He was aghast at this revelation. That he could put anyone in harm's way, let alone activity try to hurt someone. "I suppose you… took care of it." He couldn't say that she killed him. It seemed so impossible. More impossible than his corpse walking around on Earth still. 

"You…  _ he  _ didn't kill me if that's what you are afraid of."

"A small mercy I suppose." So she  _ did _ kill him then.

"Buffy." Janet appeared next to them suddenly. William jumped as high as he did when she made her first appearance in Michael's office over a hundred years ago.

Buffy, however, was not surprised by the abrupt entrance. "I guess that means we are all set up aren't we?"

"Yes it does." Janet answered.

"Sorry William. I don't have the time to explain the rest just now." Buffy turned to him looking genuinely apologetic. "You can stay here if you want. Just don't go downstairs. There is a porch out back you can exit by."

She walked back to the door and shouted down the hallway. "Chidi are you ready?"

The scholar popped his head out from a doorway at the other end. "Almost, I just have to pick-"

"Whichever one is on the right."

"But you didn't even-"

"It doesn't matter. It's time to go." She went for the stairs and Janet disappeared with a smile. William could hear Chidi shuffling in the other room so he traveled down to it.

The man almost collided with him as he rushed out the door. "Oh William! Could you do me a favor and watch over Fish?" 

A glass bowl was shoved into his hands before he could answer. "Eleanor said he would be fine alone but I haven't been able to leave him since I found out. Then again, maybe he would be better left alone than in the hands of a stranger."

Buffy interrupted by calling for Chidi yet again. William found the tone of her voice both authoritative and demanding. It was no less attractive to him this way.

"Please take good care of him!" Chidi shouted back as he ran down the stairs after Buffy.

William watched the empty hall for some time wondering what had happened. Eventually he held the bowl up to eye the goldfish inside. "Hello?" He said tentatively.

The orange fellow opened its mouth by the surface creating a bubble.

"Right. I have no idea what that means." He set the bowl down on the closest table.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Janet, when she left, flashed to Jason's instead of the meeting place. The rest would take longer to arrive so she had time. She looked at him messily eating Cheetos on his bed and watching commercials. She had offered to remove them from his cable but he didn't want her to. They were part of the TV package he had said. Yet again she didn't understand him.

He hadn't noticed she was here yet and probably wouldn't before she left again. She decided not to involve him despite his involvement increasing the success of her plan. It was irrational but she didn't want him in the cross-fire. She, for once, wanted something for herself and she was going to protect it. It was a strange feeling, being protective of someone. It was different and not altogether comfortable. 

Still, she wasn't going to give it up. Her understanding of human emotions made her recognize that what she was feeling now would pail in comparison to the despair of failing him.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Strikingly blue eyes opened in the dim lit underground room. He was on the bed but over the covers. It was as far as he had managed last night in his seemingly omnipresent stupor. He was right miserable lately. There was no reprieve for him. Even his dreams were torturous. Though those were torture of a different kind.

That kiss. He woke up right after that mind blowing, world ending kiss. It was everything. His whole reality tilted its axis with one set of warm perfect lips. But it wasn't even meant for him. And wasn't that the kicker? Of all the people to ever exist, it was meant for nancy boy William. Every piece of himself that he hated. Every inch of the persona he shred over the course of a century. She fell for that ponce.

She had even read his bleeding poetry for fucks sake.

He knew Buffy could never love him. He was a monster to her. She wasn't even wrong at that. Evil Vampire here, thank you very much. It still didn't keep him from hoping. That he could somehow do enough for her and hers. Play at the white hat long enough and she'd someday look his way.

She never did. Half the time she acted disgusted by the good he was trying to do. She died not caring a lick about him.

And what good had he really done while human anyway? Some advocacy work that didn't go anywhere? Talk about mixing signals. He fought by her side to save the world twice now and she didn't bat an eye but tell an ancient sob story about how he cared, throw in some awful verse and she wets her panties. 

Sometimes he had the idea she liked him better when they were still dancing to the death. At least that was natural.  _ This? Loving a Slayer?  _ He knew it was wrong from the start. He wasn't blind. Unfortunately he was love's bitch as sure as his heart wasn't being. He was hers now. Dead or undead, alive or dust. He would still be hers.

That said, the dreams were killing him. To have her. To be so close to her yet locked behind those Victorian sensibilities. The dreams were so real. He could see her, smell her. He imagined he could even touch her and that was proven tonight. Passed the test with flying bloody colors.

She wanted him. Sought William out day to day. And if that didn't smart. He wasn't good enough for her but his lesser half somehow was. Maybe it really  _ was _ all just the soul. The bitty paragon couldn't let herself stoop to his level without it. 

Well up hers. He wasn't going to be a replacement Angelus for the bint. 

But God he wanted her so bad.

He needed to know. Needed to know if these vivid dreams were guilt or if they were something else. If maybe they were as real as they felt.

Only one place to go for that. Much as he hated magic, he needed to bring in Red.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I hope everyone that celebrates had a happy holiday and New Year's.

Dawn sat on the stairs to the restricted section of the Magic Box's library listening to her adopted family argue.

  


"Just because Spike had a gross wet dream-"

  


"Xander!" Willow's voice was shrill and panicked. 

  


Dawn rolled her eyes knowing that they were trying and failing to shelter her. Spike shot her a concerned look from the other side of the shop and she smiled. His expression softened into a smirk and they giggled clandestinely while Xander fumbled to cover. _ She _ giggled anyway. Spike would probably feign offense and insist that vampires don't giggle.

  


"Language aside." Xander finally managed to say. "Spike's overactive imagination doesn't mean Buffy is around someplace."

  


Spike stopped smiling at her and turned his focus back to the group. "Listen here you git-"

  


"Spike. Whatever you were about to say, I don't want to hear it." Giles expressed this from his place fixing totems at one of the shelves. "This is a discussion. Not a forum at which to showcase insults for each other." Dawn noticed that he glared at Xander when he looked up from the merchandise, not only at Spike. 

  


She wanted to get back on track. "If there is any chance Buffy is out there somewhere we need to get her back." She spoke with as much maturity as she could muster and hoped it was enough.

  


Tara crossed over to her at the steps and took her hand. "It isn't that simple Dawnie. She died."

  


Tara was gentle and understanding and somehow that was so much worse. Tara made it seem okay to feel. Dawn didn't want to feel. Feeling hurt, she felt that all the time. So she stood up. In doing so she jerked her hand away from Tara. She tried really hard to ignore the look of betrayal in the eyes of the woman who was taking care of her in Buffy's wake.

  


"You all think I don't know that?!" Dawn blurted. Even Anya stopped what she was doing for a moment to stare at her. "I buried her too you know!" 

  


"We know Dawn." Xander sobered from his earlier annoyance and started over to her but halted after a step. His expression settled into something she was all too familiar with lately. A meign perpetually stuck between pity and pain. "We all did."

  


Tara's hand returned. This time a steadying palm touching her back. Suddenly it was all the glue and tape keeping her together. The anger faded away back into the raw hurt she was unable to soothe.

  


Willow chimed in as tears threatened to spill despite Dawn's best efforts to keep them at bay. "What if Spike saw her somewhere good Dawnie? We shouldn't drag her from a place she doesn't want to leave."

  


"She did seem happy." Spike said guiltily. "Mostly." He added under his breath. 

  


Dawn didn't miss a beat. "Happy because she's without me."

  


"Oh sweetie no." Tara had her wrapped up in a tight hug in seconds. Dawn really started sobbing then. 

  


At the same time Spike's head snapped to attention. Giles flinched. Xander stepped forward again just to stop short. Willow looked on wanting to cry herself. Anya just snorted at the ridiculousness of the statement and kept at her work.

  


All of this was too much. It was always too much. Dawn pulled from Tara again to stare down the rest of the room. 

  


"You wish I died instead of her!" She glared right at Giles as she exploded. The tears came faster after the words she wasn't sure she meant were out. She ran into the back room a hiccuping mess.

  


Spike stood awkwardly by the bookshelves unsure what to do. Tara nervously took charge. "I-I'll see to Dawn. You all should keep up the meeting." 

  


Willow stepped up. She took her girlfriend's hands and kissed her on the cheek. "Let me know if either of you need anything."

  


"Thanks, but I think she needs space to safely feel what she's feeling." Tara shifted into the training room and softly closed the door. 

  


Spike's ears perked to the sound of her settling and Dawn's sobs picking up again. He could hear the words she struggled out between breaths and didn't have trouble extrapolating their meaning. "Mom... Buffy… better off…"

  


His heart tugged to go to her. He could care less about most humans, but the nibblet was his. She didn't deserve to be left behind like this. He didn't realize he had started following until Willow halted him with a hand to the chest. 

  


Anya spoke up from the register then, squashing his opportunity to argue with the witch. "I know of a ritual that should tell you what type of dimension Buffy is in."

  


All eyes were on the ex-demon still counting the dosh from the till. When she didn't extrapolate Xander inched forward. "Ahn?"

  


She used one hand to swat him away like a bug. "Give me a second Xander. I don't want to lose count." Spike barely managed to stifle his laughter. Lady was giving him the shrug off.

  


He heard Giles clear his throat. "Anya, as this store's proprietor I believe the register inventory can wait." No one mentioned that it was the third time she counted the drawer tonight. That Spike had seen anyway. There was no accounting for before sunset. She had been especially focused on the store since that last fight with Glory. He'd almost been caught stealing Burba Root with her insistence on counting and recounting basement stock.

  


She threw down the cash in her hand and shoved the drawer closed. "Fine." Her even tone was deadly in tandem with the daggers her eyes were masquerading as. He had a brief daydream about meeting her during her hayday before remembering that she was a misandrist who wouldn't have thought twice about cursing him for fun. Dru probably would have found it hilarious too. He barely suppressed the shudder emanating at the thought.

  


Giles seated himself at the table with his eye on the front door. He had a notepad and pen with which he gestured for the rest of them to sit. The Scoobies all did but Spike kept his distance. Instead he took up Dawn's perch on the metal stairs. He was keeping an ear for the goings on of the training room. Glinda had calmed Dawn some but the bit was still having a hard time of it.

  


When everyone was settled Giles looked across the table to Anya. Xander was sitting to her right and Willow at his. "Now Anya, how do you perform this spell?"

  


"I didn't ever use it but T'hofren…" She died off with the name and glanced at Xander questioningly. "Didn't you ask me not to talk about him?" 

  


By the boy's uncomfortable grimace, Spike figured he'd asked more than once and this was the first time she remembered. The kid in question dropped his head in his hands and she got annoyed. "Hey what does that mean?"

  


"Nothing." But Xander didn't move. "Just tell the story Ahn."

  


She looked confused but shrugged. "Xander gets uncomfortable discussing my old business contacts sometimes."

  


"Considering you used to disembowel men for looking at another woman I'm not surprised." 

  


Willow said it but Giles and Spike shared a shiver. There were more sensitive parts of their anatomy that they were concerned about over their bowels.

  


Xander waved a hand in the air from his slumped spot. "Willow just leave it." He popped his head up and gave a tentative smile to his girl. "Go on Ahn, the floor is yours."

  


She beamed. "Thank you Xander." Then she delved into the story. "T'hofren had this safety measure in place that we were all supposed to remember how to perform. See, occasionally vengeance targets would die before we were done with them but as long as they went the right direction in the afterlife he wouldn't eviscerate you for it." Spike noted that she seemed to be enjoying the trip down evisceration lane. "He has a generally even temperament, Toffy, but little patience for screw ups. There was this one time-"

  
  


"The details of the _ spell _ please Anya." Giles sounded like he was getting impatient. Spike could relate. The sooner this was figured out the sooner he could go to Dawn. 

  


"I don't remember."

  


Spike shot up at that. "What bleeding good is it sitting around listening to you then?"

  


"Shut up fangless." Xander dragged his head up again to try and scare him. The attempt was, as always, unsuccessful.

  


"Sit down or leave Spike." He huffed at Giles's words but sat back down anyway. Willow made a face at him that said 'I know you're posturing.' Anya just stared at him, clear offense taken at his outburst and interruption.

  


Seated again he grumbled to himself. He was not some trained puppy, he was the Big Bad, the thing little kiddies hid from in the night. Scary bedtime stories and all that rot.

  


"Well anyway," Anya continued. "I never performed it because I didn't mess up. But Hallie had to do it once. She would know."

  


"Whose Hallie?" Willow asked.

  


"One of Ahn's old vengeance pals." Anya had a surprised expression when Xander answered for her, head uncovered. "What? You talk a lot. Eventually stuff sticks."

  


Spike jumped on the ammo. "So even the git can learn if you repeat yourself enough times."

  


Xander didn't try to disguise his hatred. It burned bright in his eyes for anyone with vision. "So says the vampire that has now been told _ three times _ to Shut. The hell. Up."

  


Spike stood and Xander matched it, chests puffed up between them. Willow thought they looked like funny, featherless roosters. Anya wondered how fun that aggression could be if repurposed in the bedroom. Of course her heart belonged to Xander but Spike was equally lickable.

  


"Children stop bickering." Giles took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Spike barely caught his whispered aside. "This is why I never wanted kids." 

  


"Why don't I stay here and help figure this out and you drive Dawn home Xan." Willow was playing the peacekeeper with the watcher temporarily incapacitated. "I'm pretty sure you two are giving Giles a headache."

  


Spike surprised all of them, including himself by making his own version of the plans. "You all stay here. I'll take Dawn home."

  


Sod the Big Bad image altogether apparently. He cared for the chit. And having been listening to her cry for the last ten minutes, his patience had reached its limit.

  


_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

  


Lounging in a metal chair, Samantha enjoyed the sunlight with a to go cup of coffee on the table before her. Her massive purple wedge heels with painted toes to match were kicked up on the chair to her left. She was idling outside the town's strip mall watching people mill about. This was something she had suggested Michael add to the most recent reset. He loved the idea and implemented the concept with one stipulation. They had to have salespeople every few feet avidly marketing something ridiculous. From monogram anklets and plushies to tractor trailers and tiny refrigerators they made it happen.

  


Normally, at this time of day Samantha would be getting her kicks at Will's but he changed up his schedule today. Was already out before she arrived. Probably best not to over indulge after her last slip up anyway. She still was working on a way to take care of Buffy without Michael around to do the reset. Janet was supposed to be helping with that. After a drink she would get right to it.

  


There was a thump into the chair across from her that drew her attention from those thoughts. She swung her feet down under her again to give her visitor all her attention. "Eleanor, hello!" She affected the most ridiculously jubilant attitude to greet her neighbor. It was part of her character to be over the top after all.

  


"So I hear I'm an Aries even though my birthday is in May." The blonde started abruptly. "What's all that about?"

  


Samantha smiled politely on the outside and mischievously to herself. Wasn't often anyone signed up to have their positive energy drained away. She figured that she could indulge herself just a little. She _ had _ skipped breakfast after all.

  


"You _ do _ know that astrology originated in ancient Babylonia don't you?" She laughed for effect but also because Eleanor already looked completely confused. " _ Obviously _ horoscope dates don't still stand after twenty four hundred years. Much as you'd like to think it, stars aren't static."

  


Oh this was going to be so much fun. She already had piles of nonsense material to work from. The best part was that humans had been the ones to write it. She didn't have to do any extra work.

  


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

  


Eleanor slammed the ornate door open before Tahani could reach to open it herself.

  


"That infuriating bench!" She wasn't sure how bad Eleanor would be and had been preparing herself for the worst. It caught her slightly off guard when the other woman walked up to her miming the action described in her next words. "She made me want to strangle her more and more the longer I sat there."

  


"Calm down Eleanor darling. We knew this was going to happen. All part of Janet and Buffy's plan remember?"

  


"And why did I ever agree to this again?" She snapped back. "It's not like they have to suffer this part."

  


"No, they have their own parts in this play." That seemed to make Eleanor angrier. "But you aren't the only one going through it either." She assured. "After Chidi it's my turn and I was hoping you might be there to cheer me up afterwards." Tahani collected Eleanor's hand in one of hers and started rubbing white knuckles with her thumb. She used her free hand to turn her soulmate's head in her direction. Eleanor's suddenly wide blue eyes betrayed the fear she was trying to hide under layers of hostility. "I'm going to need you to be there for me." Tahani whispered.

  


Eleanor glanced at their interlaced hands before dropping the connection and backing away. "I didn't ask to be needed." She said coldly. "I don't _ want _ to be needed. And I _ definitely _ don't need you."

  


Tahani's resolve swayed. Even knowing she was lying it hurt to hear. Just like it had hurt to hear Eleanor wasn't who she thought she was. But perfect humanitarian Eleanor wasn't who she fell for. She fell for the brash and crazy. And right now the brash and crazy was being more crazy than usual.

  


She puffed herself up the way only British gentry could, prepping herself to dish out a little of the tough love Eleanor was so fond of. 

  


"Bully for you then." She ground out as sarcastically as she could. It started rocky but she found it easier to talk sternly as she gained momentum. "This is just the way things are Eleanor. Close me out if you want but I know you care. Put up as many walls as you think you need, it is still going to hurt you." She softened her voice to continue. 

  


"I know because I've been there too. My home life was a battleground. My parents pitted us against each other to be the most suitable heir. They didn't want children they wanted perfection. I can see that now but I still want nothing more than to hear them say they're proud of me." She had not meant to share that much but it was out already. Nothing could be done about that.

  


"Point is people need people Eleanor." She tried to reach out but thought better of it before touching her again. "Please let me in." She said instead.

  


Eleanor had her arms crossed over her chest defensively. Tahani really just wanted to hold her but knew she couldn't push it. They stood in silence. Seconds passed that stretched on for ages. 

  


Eleanor broke it first. "Don't you have to go already?"

  


"Yeah I do." The response was as tired as she felt. Tahani grabbed her clutch at the door and turned back to say goodbye. "I hope you are here when I come back."

  


Her soulmate didn't reply.

  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been some time since I last posted. Sorry, but I have a new chapter for you now. I hope you like it.

In Buffy's old training room Dawn was recovering from her earlier outburst. She still had tears on her face but could speak in full sentences again. 

"Will I go there when I die?" She asked Tara. It wasn't something she had considered before. Unfortunately, considerations become different when your environment does. Losing her family changed a lot for Dawn. 

"Will I go where Buffy and mom are?" Tara didn't know what answer would help so she lost the chance to say anything. "I won't will I? I'll just go back to being a blob of energy. That's all that is waiting for me, blobbiness." The silly word came out unpleasantly and Dawn made a face. "I'm not real. Why should I get to go to heaven like them?"

"You are real." Tara jumped to insist. Dawn felt Tara's soothing fingers lace with hers. "You're right here with me Dawn. You're real."

"But not in the way that matters." She argued. "Not in the soul having eternal afterlife way."

"Who told you you don't have a soul?" Tara's voice gained a stern edge that Dawn had started to associate with her mom mode.

"No one." She answered truthfully. "I just know it's not something that can be magicked up. Even Angel's soul was out there already. Willow said she had to fish it out with that spell a few years ago. Kinda figured my keyness did what a soul would."

Mom Tara slipped away back into her friend's normal comforting tone. "Those monks did a lot that normal witches couldn't Dawn. Who's to say they couldn't make a soul too?"

The door opened and Dawn was surprised to see Spike come in from the other room. When he closed the door he grew a devilish grin that turned her mood around. "Even if you don't have a soul, at least you're in good company pidge."

"Oh god, you could hear us?" She felt her face heat up in embarrassment. "How much?"

"Pretty much everything." He teased. "Don't worry though. Just me." Spike pointed with his left to his ear. "Vamp hearing. Anyway, it's time for little 'uns to go home." 

She took his hand when he offered it and stood up. The prospect of going home with him outweighed her need to rebuke the kid comment.

Tara joined them standing a second later. "I need to see Willow before I go. Would you stay at the house until I get back Spike?"

"Was planning on it." 

Dawn hated when they talked like she wasn't here. "Perfectly fine taking care of myself you know."

"I know that Dawnie." Tara said sweetly. "This is for me. After everything I'm a little scared of losing the people I care about. I'm scared when Willow goes out alone too. So could you do this for me?"

"Yeah." Dawn conceded, seeing her point and not wanting to hurt her. "But you can't walk home alone either."

"I think that's fair." Tara smiled happily. Dawn loved that smile. "Thank you" She looked up to the vampire. "and thank you too Spike."

Spike didn't say anything.

"You're welcome Tara." Dawn would have to express it for the both of them. "Say bye to everyone for me please?"

"Sure thing."

"And tell them I'm sorry?"

"They know you didn't mean it." Tara started before reconsidering. "I'm sure they'll appreciate it anyway"

Dawn started being tugged to the door by Spike. And rushed to say and wave goodbye. She spoke at the same time as Spike.

"Love you Tara."

"Later Glinda."

Tara smiled sweetly and saw them off. "Love you too Dawn, goodnight."

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

The architecture here was rather classy. Michael would probably call it Vintage Victorian if he had to title it. There was a lot of mahogany and rich color. The trim work was ornately scrolled and impeccably polished.

He should have left immediately after his 'meeting' but he was nothing if not a curious creature. The biggest glimpse he had into the real Good Place had been the one time he snuck in and stole Janet from the Good Janet factory. 

Right now he was a bona fide guest and he wanted to take full advantage. The two hundred years or so he spent bored out of his mind in the Slayers' domain had him needing a break from business. 

Who in their right mind builds on a Tuesday ley line anyway? Makes for the worst time dilation you can get. And humans call _ Wednesday _ hump day.

Thought train over, he wanted a vacation and this was the perfect place for him to do it. First thing on his docket had been to get himself one of those antimatter cup makers. Which he had done easily with a little help from… well a literal stranger. Wow were angels different from demons.

Now that he had his souvenir he was simply exploring. There were lots of hallways and lots of doors and an insurmountable number of name placords. It was as if every person who ever might work in a given room was listed outside the frame.

Behind most of the doors were offices of some kind. Every time he opened one a cheery face or several would look up from what they were doing to ask if he needed help with something. No one asked him what he was doing. Michael didn't realize it but deception was not a concept these angels could comprehend. This was why not one of them asked him to leave. They all assumed he was supposed to be there.

The 351st door he peeked behind opened up into a meeting room. All twelve people at the oval table stood and looked his way with toothy smiles in synchronization. It was borderline creepy. 

Scratch that. For him, it was the stuff horror movies are made out of.

He had closed that door and fast.

After the experience he rethought the whole vacation idea. How did that line go? 'There's no place like home'? Yeah, that was how he was feeling right about now. 

Ehh, just thinking about the Wizard of Oz movie made him queasy. Far too peppy. And the endless songs!... Now there was an idea. Musical theatre torture? Luckily Victor Fleming was one of the many famous people in the Bad Place. Not for any Pro Nazi ideals he held of course. That would simply be ridiculous. It was well known popular opinion that fascists were good fun. Though, being a demon, maybe his view on the matter was skewed. It was a possibility worth considering. Anyway, Fleming was in the Bad Place simply because what Hollywood director wasn't?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

  
  


Chidi had never met Samantha before, so he hadn't known what to expect. Even being told in no uncertain terms that she was a demon he had a hard time truly believing it. After all she had been so helpful. 

He was at the mall when they met. Tahani suggested he do a little to spruce up his wardrobe. Why she thought that was important _ now _ eluded him but she was insistent so he aquessed.

Somehow Samantha had managed to convince him to take home an entire store's stock of sweater vests when all he had asked her was brown or gray.

He couldn't even begin to sort the material spread across his apartment because before he could start he would have to develop a completely new algorithm to organize by. For one thing, did color rank over fabric type or should pattern style be the dominant category?

As caught up as he was he completely forgot that goldfish was still with William. He spoke aloud as if the small minded creature was there. He always talked to his best friend at home.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

So she had over indulged, again. Keep this up and she would lose yet another post. Helping out Michael was already Shawn's idea of a punishment job. Seriously, there were only _ six _ humans here. What was next? Apian dental hygienist? For one thing, cleaning teeth was a boring ash job. Secondly she was terrified of bees. Those tiny fuzzy bodies and striping colors? Too freaky.

She hadn't done anything stupid yet this time so that was a point in her favor. There was enough of her presence of mind left to make herself take it easy for an hour or two. As long as nothing important came up all would be okay. She could nap off the bulk of the high. 

Chidi had just been such an easy opportunity. Still buzzed off Eleanor it was impossible to tell herself no. Maybe she should send him a little something for that aquatic soulmate of his. Something to say I'm thinking of you. Maybe a little fishy sweater. But there would have to be two of them. She wasn't going to make it easy.

Samantha giggled and tripped on the walk. It took a few seconds to right herself. Only a little bit farther to go until she was safely ensconced behind solid walls. Where the fork was Micheal anyway? He should be back by now.

At a distance, Tahani watched the demon walk up to her home. She looked mostly fine to the untrained eye. Luckily Tahani's deep amber eyes were far from untrained. Substance abuse ran rampant among those in the upper echelon of society. They got away with it because they were generally high functioning. Being rich helped of course, easier when you can use generous donations to make problems disappear. (Not that she had ever done such.) Unfortunately, the riches were a double edged sword as it also made designer drugs easier to access.

She recognized the tilt of a person on codeine. The way eyes would gloss and over dilate for users of LSD. Hyper party guests put her on edge that there might be cocaine circulating. It wasn't that she had anything against drug use per say. It was simply her opinion that anyone coming to her events ought to enjoy them as they were. Or at least only using the substance provided, she did keep more than competent bar staff on retainer.

But she also wanted her gatherings to be a safe space for her friends in recovery. Thus whenever she saw someone like Samantha looked right now, there were questions. Most people respected that. Yet most people were human, this was a demon. Worse, her choice of drug left her friends with the hangover. Tahani's perfectly manicured hands tightened their grip on the carved wood railing of her porch.

Did she really have to do this? Eleanor was inside currently angry at anything and everything. Tahani knew that Samantha was going to stir up her anxieties same as she had riled her girlfriend's. 

When she heard the truth of things the other day she hadn't denied it's veritably. It made perfect sense. Not so much that she belonged in the Bad Place. Maybe that was also a mistake like it had been with Buffy. Rather that this town was the worse of the two options. Because really. The actual Good Place would have Salvatore Ferragamo himself would be designing her shoes. That would be a real dream come true. She looked down at her Jimmy Choos. She didn't feel as satisfied with them as she had been putting them on. With a heavy sigh, she made her way to the neighboring home.

Tahani stepped inside the house and immediately regretted her actions. The outside of this building was a gray monstrosity. The inside, somehow, was worse. For everything that Samantha portrayed herself as she wasn't this. This was simply drab. Tahani breathed deep and set about finding which corner the woman had gone off to. The click of her heels echoed impressively through the halls.

Decor was half-hearted and poorly thought out, if at all. This brutalist style, if one could call it a style, needed serious softening. One slip and she would be wearing a hat the rest of her afterlife. Major skull fracture would be best case scenario with floors and walls this solid. She stepped around a corner to a room less minimalist than the rest of the house. 

"...Samantha?"

Tahani wasn't sure how to process the scene. If this were a human she'd say the girl needed major help. There were bottles and wrappers and bags and Tahani was quite certain most of these drugs weren't anything she, or possibly any mortal, was familiar with.

"Heya cutie." The woman slurred from her extremely improper position on the couch. "Miss me too much to stay away?"

Samantha thought she was being perfectly reasonable making a move on Tahani. Couldn't see any reason not to. Being four sheets to the wind helped with that. 

Minutes ago Janet said three hits of aerosolized ecstasy would help balance the negativity she cultivated. It was like the similarly named drug on Earth, but instead of MDMA it was the literal sensation of ecstasy. She had one problem, it wasn't working. Now she was too unstable to walk, majorly impulsive, and Tahani looked like a snack.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Large round eyes stared emptily from beyond the clear glass. The small white and orange mottled fish had not moved for at least an hour. It suspended itself in place, almost touching the glass, right in front of William's face. He had tested this creature at first and found that the fish would follow him regardless of which side of the bowl he looked from. Now, the only movements between the two of them were minor. William's need to blink, combined with the slight rise and fall of his chest were all that distinguished him from a statue.

Mirroring him in the aquatic, the unnamed fish opened and closed their small mouth seemingly entranced by the pale skinned human. The lazy swash of tail fin was not unlike the flopping tail of a dog hoping to be pet. William had his whole body leaned over the table, resting his face as close as he could, when he heard a commotion from downstairs.

He righted himself within his seat quickly and ran a hand through his hair. He first patted his jacket for his spectacles and then preceded to search the table. Meanwhile the scene continued to play out below him.

Buffy stormed in holding the laughing female demon by one arm. Chidi was holding the door for Tahani and Eleanor who walked in behind. Janet was already in the room.

Samantha was cuffed by an item found in Michael's office. It had only looked like a small magnet to Buffy when she glanced it over. Janet, however, had explained its use and unparalleled strength. Short of Samantha being reduced to goop, which Buffy very much didn't want, there wasn't anything the woman could do to escape them.

Buffy wasted no time attaching the cuffs to another surface. Almost as soon as she did so Eleanor got into the character of an unchained detective with nothing to lose. She came up from behind Buffy and grabbed the demon by the shirt.

"Tell us everything you know about this place!"

Buffy stepped back, caught off guard by the action. Tahani however placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"Calm down Eleanor darling." She slipped around the other woman seamlessly and detached the tense hand from Samantha's collar. "Don't want to mess up her…" Tahani had to pause and think of an inoffensive word to describe her state of dress. "Attire." She eventually settled on.

Chidi cut in between the women so he could speak to the captive demon. "Just tell us what we need and then we can let you go."

Samantha didn't stop smiling the entire time, enjoying their well cultivated discomfort around her. She looked over to Chidi and answered him without hesitation. "Tell you what. Pick one question. Any question, and I'll answer it just for you."

Upstairs, William could not make out the details of conversation but he could distinguish voices. The shouting unsettled him but when he recognized the voice of his patroness he became worried. He had promised Buffy not to go downstairs. Yet at the same time he could not stand by the abuse of his only friend. Hesitantly he made his way down towards the voices.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been a while so here's a recap for all the normal people who don't obsessively reread the way I do. 
> 
> Buffy and the new gang have captured the demoness and are currently interrogating her in the fancy training room of Buffy's dream house. Right at the end of the last chapter Samantha decided to throw them a bone and agree to answer a question, with one caveat. She gave the question to Chidi. We all know how Chidi does with choices.

  
Argument quickly broke out over what they should choose as their one question.

"We need to know how to get out of here." Tahani said almost immediately

"I'm not so sure on that." Chidi rationalized. "Why we are here is also very important. We need to know what to change to become better and then be worthy of the good place. As it is we supposedly don't belong there." 

"We're good enough already!" Eleanor insisted. "We just need to get out of here and go to some medium place. Oh!" With the lightbulb going off in her head she addressed the demon in the room excitedly. "Is there a medium place? How do we get there?" 

"That's two questions you realize." Samantha chided.  
  
"Also she said that she would answer my question, not yours." Chidi reminded the blonde. He was quickly finding himself bothered by her.  
  
Eleanor didn't miss a beat. "Shirt up dorkface." 

Tahani stepped up to the cuffed woman hoping to answer her own question. "Am I a mistake as well? You know, the way Buffy was?"

Samantha gave an overtly dramatized look making the resident socialite self conscious. She stepped back and realized both Eleanor and Chidi were wearing similar faces of disbelief.

"What?" Tahani asked the silently staring group. "It's just as likely that if they did it once they could have been mistaken twice."

It was Janet who came to her aid. She raised her hand for attention as she started to speak. "I can answer that one. And no, you were not placed here as a mistake." She brought her arm back down and rested it with the other behind her back. "As I now understand the point values of Slayers halt when called as they are no longer needed. The mistake is that the system applied the total of her 15 year old self rather than send her straight to the Slayer domain."

Buffy looked at her with a raised brow. The Slayer in question wondered why this was just now being explained.

"I did additional research after informing you." Janet added.

"Right." And that was all Buffy said before returning to her thoughts.

For a moment silence overtook the room while everyone took in the information, or simply continued thinking about more questions. Just as suddenly as the first time the din returned as questions again arose.

"What would a medium place be like anyway?" Elenore asked. She was happy to be back on the topic at hand. "And what's the real good place like? Does it have endless nachos?" Instead of waiting for an answer she looked at Tahani and repeated herself with a smile. "I bet it has endless nachos."

Chidi went a different route. "What is the major philosophical base for the point system? Wait no. Have humans developed a working theory for it yet? What's the closest one?" The excitement in his eyes vanished when Samantha opened her mouth. "No no, don't tell me that isn't my question!" He held his head and turned away pacing. After a second his hand slipped to his stomach to soothe the growing ache.

Tahani asked her next question seated on a stool she pulled from a corner of the room. "Did you truly believe blue was a flattering hair color or was that another form of torture?" She had a poorly disguised frown marring her elegant face.

Samantha rolled her eyes in answer. 

All around Buffy was noise and annoyance. Chidi was talking out possible questions at a distance while pacing and intermittently grumbling about his stomachache. Tahani continued talking to the captive asking inane questions about very specific instances between Samantha and her. Elenor made annoying tapping noises with her foot and told Chidi just to ask for the way out more than once. 

Closing her eyes didn't help block out the sound. Focus that should have been put towards saving everyone was instead blocking them out. Until it wasn't enough, and finally, she snapped.

"Everyone just be quiet okay?!" She still had her eyes closed as she shouted at the 'adults' she walked circles around as far as problem management went.

She took an extra couple seconds in the silence to rub out the creases in her forehead that these people put there before facing the panicking teacher with a face of stone determination.

"Chidi I'll take the one question." She could see the anxiety in his features melt from being able to hand over the responsibility. 

Eleanor was less happy with the turn of events. "Who died and named you boss?" The older blonde retorted.

Janet chimed in with a misplaced attempt to lighten the mood. "I'd like to just point out that you are all currently dead."

Only Chidi recognized Janet's interjection. Tahani was focused on the tension between the blondes. Both Eleanor and Buffy ignored the others for a continued standoff. "You asked me for help." Buffy sniped. "So I guess it's all your fault."

Eleanor didn't like the reminder but wasn't going to argue it. "Get on it then and ask the right questions already."

Buffy huffed before turning back to her captive. Everyone found themselves surprised by the choice of what she decided to ask. "How do I get into the bad place?"

"What the fork is that going to do for us?!" Eleanor made to rush the teen and Tahani, being the closest, had to move fast to restrain her.

Samantha lolled her head back and chuckled at both the scuffle and question. "I thought you already established that you're here?" She smiled devilishly. "So you say anyway."

The line of the Slayer's mouth tightened. "You know what I mean."

"Nah, no idea what you're talking about." The demon might have sounded convincing if she wasn't wearing a mocking smile the entire time she spoke.

"Buffy, if I could suggest-" Chidi was silenced by a finger held up before him. Solidly in interrogation mode, Buffy didn't even turn around. The professor had to wonder why she had become the de facto leader out of all of them. He glanced quickly to Eleanor and Tahani who both stood watching. Eleanor stared daggers while her soulmate's attention was split between the scene and watching for another outburst. Tahani had her hands lightly resting against her arms eluding to an air of composure. One she didn't feel if the worried expression on her face was any indicator.

Janet, the most logical of them might seem a rational choice of leader. Unfortunately he couldn't understand her reasoning and that disturbed him. He had dedicated his life to Philosophy after all. The literal study of logic and rational thought.

Buffy continued on as Chidi thought. "You're gonna tell me how."

"Why so you can martyr yourself to mess up the afterlife? Newsflash, you can't be a martyr when you're already dead."

Frustrated Buffy grabbed the woman by the collar and pulled her close. Immediately Chidi jumped to action. "Buffy, I really don't think violence is justified here." He was close, trying to get between the two without endangering himself.

"Why not?" Eleanor asked from the other side. She was resting on top of a vaulting horse now. Tahani had one hand on her arm. Likely it was the only thing keeping the hothead from jumping in to help with said violence. "Asking politely wasn't working so rough em up a bit."

Brown eyes looked aghast at her soulmate. She was widening her mouth in obvious shock but finding no words, said nothing. Eleanor for her part looked at her partner and shrugged. "Usually worked for me."

Chidi barely knew how to respond. "You can't just hurt people because you are at a slight inconvenience!" He shouted.

"Yeah and what makes you the expert on all things ethical?"

He stuttered momentarily at the ridiculousness of the question. "I was a philosopher of ethics! It was literally my job to answer these types of questions!"

Buffy turned around at that. "Can you all just shut it? I'm trying to work." She turned back around but was caught by a surprise grip on her arm. She looked at the dark hand breathing deep and slow. Her eyes followed the arm up already knowing who she would find. Her voice was cold and dangerous. "I suggest you take your hand off me before I take it off for you."

"No." Chidi said firmly, finally holding his ground for once. "I won't stand by and let you hurt a person without at least considering other options."

"Good thing you aren't then! She isn't a person Chidi! She is a demon."

He was at a lost for words. Realising that he and her were standing on different definitions of the word had drastically cut into the argument he was preparing. She wasn't applying any moral framework to this situation because she truly believed this woman was too inhuman to apply any. He had just started considering what had caused her drastic outlook on a whole subclass of intelligent beings when a new voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Buffy?" the voice was light but somehow it carried. Maybe it was the force of emotion behind it. The slightly tremble signaled that it was clearly a lot. He saw the girl's eyes soften then grow worried at something behind him. He found himself letting her go to see for himself.

William stood at the bottom of the stairs with betrayal written over his features. Tears were in his eyes threatening to spill over any moment. If he had to guess Chidi would say the man didn't want to believe what he saw but there was no mistaking this scene. Samantha was being held up by Buffy in one hand. Her hands obviously useless in front of her.

Buffy's own mind reeled at the sight of so much raw emotion on the face she had convinced herself couldn't feel. And why was he even here? It occurred to her again his untimely arrival before they enacted the plan. His poetry was still tucked into the waistband of her leggings. Her heart dropped with both the words and her reaction which did nothing to help thoughts form.

"I thought I told you to stay upstairs?" She asked dumbly. As soon as the words were out she knew they were wrong but there is no taking back what has already been said.

Realisation dawned on the face of both her soulmate and mortal enemy. He said the words slowly as if trying to make sense of them. "You didn't want me to see this." He tilted his head towards her side.

She followed his eyes and found what had him so upset. Samantha was a mess of runaway blue hairs and smudged makeup. And right now Buffy was holding her by the collar like a ragdoll. In an instant she let go of the woman. Her head snapped back at the face she knew too well.  
Her emotions started to well up at the wounded expression he wore so openly. 

"You don't understand." She started. Then she realized how close she was and how much this person meant to him. She quickly backed up. "I can explain."

"I don't believe I want your explanation!" The generally mild mannered man exclaimed. It wasn't quite a shout but it reverberated in her bones nonetheless. He crossed the room quickly and made for his friend who was clearly out of sorts. Janet was stepping to intercept when Buffy spoke again.

"Spike stop!"

William whirled and caught Buffy's eyes with a venomous indignance. They were still wet and shining from before which only made it worse. Anything she had thought she was going to say became part of the clog in her throat. He had been hurt and he knew who he blamed for it. "My name isn't Spike." He said almost in a whisper. "You'd do well to stop calling me that."

Buffy gulped. It wasn't fair to him to compare, yet what had she been doing this entire time? She had consistently been seeing the vampire and not the man. Not the soul.

None of them dared stop him as William took Samantha by the arm and helped her stand. He looked over to Janet who was the other closest person besides Buffy. "Would you please remove these strange restraints?"

Janet was for a moment conflicted. Her duty was foremost to the humans here and fulfilling their requests. She was however unsure of the conflicting aspects in play. It didn't take long for her to decide to do her duty and grant desires as they were asked. She leaned over and activated the mechanism of release easily.

William looked at her solemnly. "Thank you." He breathed the phrase out on a heavy breath before taking another into his lungs. 

Buffy felt every fraction of his turn to face her again like a walk to the gallows. She had nothing to say that could make up for her conflation of him and a demon. What she could do was try and protect him now. Looking down with shame she spoke. "You really shouldn't-"

William would not let her continue. "I seem to have severely misjudged your character."

Buffy felt her mouth drop against her will. She turned her gaze upward to see heartbreak personified staring back at her. The gentleman she had come to know and start to love in her time here had become stone to her. His face was empty of emotion and his eyes cold.

"For both our sakes I must request that you do not seek out the company of myself or my companion in the future." With that said he addressed the rest of the room. "I do regret you all barring witness to such an unseamly event. If you would give me time to set my affairs in order I would like to invite you over for a small soiree as a token of my appreciation for your understanding." He bowed his head slightly as he made sure everyone had heard him. "Now I must take my leave. Good day ladies." He faced Chidi. "Professor" Last he looked again to Buffy. She thought he might say something else but there was nothing.

Samantha continued to cling to him throughout the ordeal which made Buffy sick. She wanted to act against the demon yet was afraid to hurt William more than she already had. As they stepped away Samantha lolled her still drunk head around so she could blow Buffy a kiss goodbye. It cemented both the hate she was feeling and the frustrating inability she maintained in the situation. Slayer eyes were trained on the door long after it fell closed behind the pair.

Elenor looked between the door and youngest among them a handful of times before she spoke. "You royally forked up."

And didn't she know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing an angry William was a challenge but a pleasure. Buffy kinda got what was coming to her though, needs that kick in the butt to make her see her faults. Speaking of Chidi also stepped up big time. I had been writing him a bit on the whimpy side before this so I'm glad I had this opportunity to make him shine.


End file.
